How mental health was perceived in the past?

We often underestimate how deeply our world is affected by Mental illness.

 Mental illness has been around since the beginning of time. Ages ago many would say that if someone was mentally ill that they were “mad” or even “ possessed by spirits”. 

Back in the day around the 1930’s many were treated with Electroconvulsive therapy.  You may know Electroconvulsive therapy as “shock therapy”.

 Before that, in the mid-1800s the mentally ill would essentially be sedated or restrained in overcrowded asylums. 

The majority of the schools of thought also came from back in the early 1800s & 1900s. 

Mental Health History 

Now I promise not to turn this blog post into a history lesson but the back story on psychology as a whole is a very interesting one.

(Please pinky swear you will go and read some information about the etiology of mental health and psychology) 

There are probably a few things that you may have a misconception about when it comes to mental health.

 It’s my goal to dispel some of the beliefs and share how much mental health has grown over the years. 

 We are beginning to speak about mental health now like it is a priority. It should have always been a priority but we can’t do much to change the past right.

 It is a priority of mine and I will explain exactly why you should make it a priority of yours too whether you suffer from mental illness or not.

What You Should Know About Mental Health?

Have you ever found yourself calling another person crazy, because they may have done something that wasn’t what you considered normal? 

 You know stuff like walking down the street with no clothes on or fighting the air? 

 We have all seen it right? Maybe in real life or perhaps on television. 

What Kind of Movies That Talk About Mental Health?

 Many movies like Sybil, Girl Interrupted, Beautiful mind, etc… display characters who suffer from mental illness.

 You may have watched the movies for mere entertainment……or you could have finished the movies with a plethora of questions that went unanswered. 

The first time you may have experienced some form of someone with mental illness, you may have been fairly young.  

Young enough to know that something was different but also young enough not to understand what that could have meant. 

 Sometimes parents could have it explained as “ don’t mind her/him she’s just special!  Well, we are special right!

 I mean what does “special” even mean?  I’m going to venture to guess that whatever information you did receive about mental illness it was probably not a very detailed one. 

What do you need to do?

So, whatever your belief was about mental health back then you more than likely have some of those same beliefs now in 2020. 

 Now don’t beat yourself up we all have been misinformed on many things. Being misinformed doesn’t make us bad people.

 The fact that you are reading this allows me to know that you want to clear up any misconceptions and you’re ready to share what you learn with others right?

Let’s Dive in a little and come to an understanding of what mental illness really is.

What is mental illness? (Glad you asked)

Now that we’ve pretty much accepted that the definition you have about mental health is not the best one let’s clear it up. 

Mental Health Definition 

Mental Illness is a wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking, and behaviors.  so you may be thinking to yourself so that sounds a lot like what happens when you use drugs. 

 Well, you right! drugs can also affect your mood, thinking, and behaviors.

 Generally, people who have substance use disorders along with mental health disorders are diagnosed as having a co-occurring.  

You may also here is sometimes called a dual or substance disorder which includes alcohol or drug abuse.  

Where did mental illness Even come from?

This is probably the most asked question related to mental illness.

  There are different beliefs about why people have a mental illness.

  There have been multiple studies on changes in the brain, changes in chemical imbalances and you can read a few of the studies that I follow actively here. 

As well as well-respected researchers around the world who have dedicated the majority of their lives to finding a breakthrough on mental illness.

 Others may argue that it was passed down by a family member.

You can learn the diagnosis who are believed to have genetic components here. 

 Mental Health Matters because mental illness can be a part of your family for generations to come.

What affects mental health?

Below I will share a list of studies that have been shown to have genetic components. Scientists have recognized that the following psychiatric disorders tend to run in families according to the National Institutes of Health. (www.nih.gov)

 You can also search many other articles to learn more about these.

Major Depressive Disorder 

Autism

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity (ADHD)

Bi-Polar Disorder

Schizophrenia

One thing you can do to help narrow down if your family has ties to mental illness is to have your therapist do a genogram for you. 

The genogram is like a family tree although much more detailed. A genogram is a pictorial display of a person’s family relationships and medical history.

 It goes beyond a traditional family tree by allowing the user to visualize hereditary patterns and psychological factors that punctuate relationships.

Is there a cure for Mental Illness?

There is no magic pill or anything proven that will allow your mental illness to magically disappear. 

So, unfortunately, there is no cure! However, you can learn more about the latest research on topics related to a cure from a simple search. There are plenty of treatment options to choose from. 

 There are also holistic methods of treatments as well as medications that work extremely well especially with certain diagnoses. 

Medication along with psychotherapy work amazingly well together. 

 Mental Health Matters!

Now a question often comes up and that is

People can’t have a “normal life” with mental illness?

You can have a normal life if you have a mental illness. 

 Whatever your definition of normal you can still have that with a mental illness. Read my blog post on how to combat mental illness. 

 You will be faced with challenges if you have a mental illness. News flash……… we all will be faced with challenges.

 You may have to work a little harder, a little longer to make sure that you have what you need to cope. 

Read more >> How to combat mental illness >>

What if my culture does not believe in treating mental illness? 

There are tons of cultures that are not so fond of mental health services.  

Not saying that you should go against your beliefs, values, or culture but mental health is a personal journey. 

 Although mental health can affect the entire family it truly is taking a step in your progress as an individual.

Have a conversation 

 Having a conversation about what you believe is right for you is very important when taking your journey. 

 You have full control of who you allow in your circle of support.

See a therapist. 

Overall deciding to see a therapist is your personal choice.

  >> Read my blog post on how to find a new therapist here.>>

Why does mental health Matter?

Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being.

 It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. 

Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. 

Mental health matters because we matter.  Our lives matter, our well-being, and our choices matter.

What can I do to be a part of the change?

 We have the right to be seen and heard in the light instead of suffering in the dark.  Those who suffer from mental health deserve to be able to walk outside and not be called crazy.

  Those who suffer from mental health deserve to go ask for help without being called crazy. 

Those who suffer from mental health should not be discriminated against because they have a diagnosis. 

 Mental health matters because our mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers, and our friends matter. Make sharing your knowledge about mental health a priority. Cause your voice matters.

 The more you know the more you share. 

Your mental health is important to be sure to make it a priority!

Pin me!

Final Note

Mental health should be prioritized and should be taught more often.

If you feel you’re struggling with mental health, then please consult a professional.

Related article about mental health:

• How to find a new therapist
• How to combat mental health
• What to do when you have mental health

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We asked and you answered! We are in the process building a list of these amazing topics that you all selected during our Instagram Survey.  We here at Ladies and Lemons are passionate about delivering quality content and we want you to stick around and get updated when they become available. This by far is not click bait and we are extremely excited to collaborate with others to make the best quality content. Sign up so that you can join us and not miss a thing. Stick around and check the many other topics posted!

UPCOMING ARTICLES

Growth Mindset

Self-Esteem Tips

Reasons to stay Active

Staying Motivated with Mental Illness

Balance and Mental Illness

Stopping Mental Health Fog

Mental Health Matters updated 11/1/2020 view post here

Eating A Balanced Meal and Eating Healthy with mental health

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Let’s talk about how you can actually tell if you should see a therapist. Now for starters …. Don’t get the idea in your head that the first therapist you see will be a match made in heaven.   Unfortunately, finding the right  therapist and treatment isn’t always easy peasy.  It can be a task itself, especially if you are at a low point at the time of searching. You might  google “psychotherapy” ( psychotherapy  simply means “talk therapy”  not that your a serial killer) and you might instantly become confused at the fact you see a ton of Acronyms like CBT or Cognitive behavioral therapy, or DBT Dialectical Behavioral therapy, and maybe ACT amongst a million others.  The first thing  is to not get overwhelmed. Once you start searching for a therapist you will learn more about the various schools of thoughts and treatment modalities.   Now you’re thinking well I don’t even know what’s wrong with me why am I even looking for a therapist!   This is all the more reason why you want to take your time and scope out the right one for you.  If you don’t do enough research then a few things may happen. You may go in for a session, start telling all and answering questions that you have not answered in years, then find yourself not really liking the therapist at all. You might even try going to quite a few other therapists and repeating the same steps.  Then BOOM! your belief of the therapeutic process is tarnished.  We don’t want that to happen.  I feel that the therapeutic relationship is something powerful and life changing.  A few things to consider when searching for a therapist. 

The Worldview

Many people want to see a therapist that looks like them.  Meaning they want someone of the same race because they believe that they may be able to relate to many things.  I am not saying that having a therapist from a different background wouldn’t understand you… but it really is all about compatibility and rapport building. It is about finding someone that you can connect with. This can be true in most instances.  Yet, do keep in mind that if someone has a history of drug abuse, and the therapist you selected did not experience drug abuse does not mean that they can’t help you.   Keep an opinion in mind, and although race shouldn’t be the biggest factor I know that sometimes it  can have an impact in the decision making process of the person you select.

Culture- 

Culture is the characteristics and knowledge of a particular group of people, encompassing language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music and arts.  Why should culture play a role in your decision making process? Because you may find someone who connects with you at a deeper level than just agreeing  on a worldview.  Do you desire a therapist who has a religious based beliefs, Are they a part of the LGBT community, do they have interest in Art therapy?  There are plenty of therapists who self-disclose in aids of finding their ideal clients.  Also, not that many therapists do not self-disclose, and all should be qualified to assist you either way.

Specialty types of the therapist– 

We mentioned earlier about the different acronyms so let’s dig a little deeper. Many therapists have a modality preference that they specialize in.  This means that if you choose a particular therapist they may be treating you with that modality.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very common in the therapy world. CBT is a short-term therapy technique that can help people find new ways to behave by changing their thought patterns.  Dialectical behavioral therapy ( DBT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy) DBT is often used to treat suicidal and other self-destructive behaviors.  Another therapist may specialize in anger, abuse, or trauma.  There are tons of specialities out there.  If a therapist specializes in one it does not mean they are only limited to use that modality.  It just means that their preference is the said modality and they tend to use what they feel will give the best results, and their comfort level of that modality.  Some therapists, like myself, prefer to use several different types.  

Discipline of therapist-

So, there are several different types of therapist. You can see a Psychiatrist which generally only prescribes medication. Although they may do assessments they do not do therapy. You can also see a Psychologist. A psychologist in most states cannot prescribe medication but is authorized to do therapy. 

 You can see a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist  which are a mental health professional trained in psychotherapy and family systems, and licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples and family systems. I also have many colleagues who are MFT who specializes and a wide range from drug addictions to working with children.  So, they are not limited to just working with the family.

 You can also see a Licensed Professional Counselor. Licensed professional counselors are master’s degree mental health service providers, trained to work with individuals, families, and groups in treating mental, behavioral, and emotional problems and disorders. You may find that many LPC work in the school system or with military families but are not limited to. You can see Licensed Clinical Social Worker or LCSW, LCSW is a sub-sector within the field of Social Work. LCSW works with clients in order to help deal with issues involving mental and emotional health.  You may find many LCSWs at hospitals and clinics however they often have private practices where they provide therapy.  All disciplines vary from state to state but must all have a masters degree or above in order to practice. Last but not least you can see a Life Coach.  There is no current governing body that requires a life coach to have a certain level of education or license.  Life coaches do not provide therapy and are not allowed to treat.  However, they can serve as a support system for you and serve as a guide. 

Price and insurance coverage- Many employers have EAP services (Employee Assistance Programs) that will cover up to a certain amount of therapy sessions. Call your employer to see if you have this coverage. You can also see how many sessions are covered in your actual plans. In most cases patients may need to get an extension for their services.  Thi is why it is so important to maximize your sessions by sharing and participating because if your employer only authorizes 12 sessions you may be upset because you can see yourself benefiting and feel that you did not have enough time.  You could always pay out of pocket.  Just in case something like this happens be sure to find out the rate the therapist charges prior to the onset of therapy to see if you will be able to afford it.

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Your diagnosis is simply that,  a diagnosis. Try not to get so lost in what you were diagnosed with. It only holds as much weight as you allow it to. Be realistic though, just because you got some new that you didn’t want to hear doesn’t mean it’s just going to go away. Kind of like getting diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure ).  You may or may not need medication, but you will definitely have to make some changes if you want to see some results as far as it is decreasing.  

Educate yourself!  There are tons of resources out there about your diagnosis one of my favorite sites for education is the NAMI website.  They go in great detail about mental illness and there is tons of information on their site.  The more you know about your mental illness, the more you can begin to recognize your symptoms and identify some triggers.  When it comes to mental illness avoidance is not the answer, accept your diagnosis and find ways that you can manage it.  Don’t let it manage you.  Another quick note is that one professional may diagnose you as suffering from schizophrenia while another professional could diagnose you as something else like Bi-polar with psychotic features. Yes certain criteria needs to be me in order to be diagnosed but sometimes it can be slightly different from professional to professional.  

To share or not to share.  Your diagnosis is your own personal business.  You have the choice rather you feel that you want to share it.  If you were to decide that you want to share your news with someone you trust one perk would be allowing them to become educated along with you. They may be able to be a part of your support system on those not so good days.  

I have seen both sides of sharing.  I have had some people say they wish they never shared that information because they immediately felt judged.  I have had others say that it was the best decision of their life.  See my post about how to find a therapist here if you plan on keeping it to yourself.

Living with mental illness is not an easy task.  There isn’t a clear solution and thct can be frustrating.  Many things do help like exercise, mediation, finding routines, education, self-care, identifying your triggers, psychotherapy, and support groups to name a few.  You may go through a ton of coping skills before finding one that truly works for you.  You may find yourself having several different coping skills and using them for different triggers. 

NAMI suggest that you try  

Radical acceptance

Deep breathing-  You can check out my deep breathing post here title how to master deep breathing

Opposite -to – Emotion Thinking

The 5 Senses

Mental Reframing

Emotion Awareness

Deep Breathing

Breathing is an annoying cliché at this point, but that’s because the best way to calm anxiety really is to breathe deeply. When battling my own anxiety, I turned to the concept of “5 3 7” breathing:

• Breathe in for 5 seconds
• Hold the breath for 3 seconds
• Breathe out for 7 seconds

This gentle repetition sends a message to the brain that everything is okay (or it will be soon). Before long, your heart will slow its pace and you will begin to relax—sometimes without even realizing it.

Opposite-to-Emotion Thinking

Opposite-to-emotion thinking is how it sounds: You act in the opposite way your emotions tell you to act. Say you’re feeling upset and you have the urge to isolate. Opposite-to-emotion tells you to go out and be around people—the opposite action of isolation. When you feel anxious, combat that with something calming like meditation. When you feel manic, turn to something that stabilizes you. This technique is probably one of the hardest to put into play, but if you can manage it, the results are incredible.

The 5 Senses

Another effective way to use your physical space to ground you through a crisis is by employing a technique called “The 5 Senses.” Instead of focusing on a specific object, with “The 5 Senses” you run through what each of your senses is experiencing in that moment. As an example, imagine a PTSD flashback comes on in the middle of class. Stop! Look around you. See the movement of a clock’s hands. Feel the chair beneath you. Listen to your teacher’s voice. Smell the faint aroma of the chalkboard. Chew a piece of gum.

Running through your senses will take only a few seconds and will help keep you present and focused on what is real, on what is happening right now.

Mental Reframing

Mental reframing involves taking an emotion or stressor and thinking of it in a different way. Take, for example, getting stuck in traffic. Sure, you could think to yourself, “Wow, my life is horrible. I’m going to be late because of this traffic. Why does this always happen to me?”

Or you can reframe that thought, which might look something like, “This traffic is bad, but I’ll still get to where I’m going. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I’ll just listen to music or an audiobook to pass the time.” Perfecting this technique can literally change your perspective in tough situations. But as you might imagine, this skill takes time and practice.

Emotion Awareness

If you live in denial of your emotions, it will take far longer to take care of them, because once we recognize what we’re feeling, we can tackle it or whatever is causing it. So, if you’re feeling anxious, let yourself be anxious for a couple of minutes—then meditate. If you’re feeling angry, let yourself be angry—then listen to some calming music. Be in touch with your emotions. Accept that you are feeling a certain way, let yourself feel that way and then take action to diminish unhealthy feelings.

You can’t control that you have mental illness, but you can control how you respond to your symptoms. This is not simple or easy (like everything else with mental illness), but learning, practicing and perfecting coping techniques can help you feel better emotionally, spiritually and physically. I’ve tried all the above techniques, and they have transformed the way I cope with my mental health struggles.

It takes strength and persistence to recover from mental illness—to keep fighting symptoms in the hopes of feeling better. Even if you feel weak or powerless against the battles you face every day, you are incredibly strong for living through them. Practical and simple methods can help you in your fight. Take these techniques into consideration, and there will be a clear change in the way you feel and live your life.

source :https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/January-2019/Self-Help-Techniques-for-Coping-with-Mental-Illness

Want alternative ways to destroy depression click here?

Suffering from anxiety? Check this out!

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Your diagnosis is simply that, a diagnosis! Try not to get so lost in what you were diagnosed with. It only holds as much weight as you allow it to. Be realistic though, just because you got some news that you didn’t want to hear or wasn’t what you expected to hear ….. It doesn’t mean it’s just going to go away. Kind of like getting diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure ).  You may or may not need medication, but you will definitely have to make some changes if you want to see some results as far as it decreasing.  

Educate yourself!  There are tons of resources out there about your diagnosis one of my favorite sites for education is the NAMI website.  They go in great detail about mental illness and there is tons of information on their site.  The more you know about your mental illness, the more you can begin to recognize your symptoms and identify some triggers.  When it comes to mental illness, avoidance is not the answer, accept your diagnosis and find ways that you can manage it.  Don’t let it manage you!  Another quick note is that one diagnosis may slightly differ from one you may get from a different provider. Yes certain criteria needs to be met in order to be diagnosed but sometimes it can be slightly different from professional to professional.  There’s nothing to be alarmed when this happens but be sure to include any pertinent information just in case you happen to switch providers.

To share or not to share…. 

Your diagnosis is your own personal business.  You have the choice rather you feel that you want to share it.  If you were to decide that you want to share your news with someone you trust, then one perk would be allowing them to become educated along with you. They may be able to be a part of your support system on those not so good days.  

I have seen both sides of sharing.  I have had some people say they wish they never shared that information because they immediately felt judged.  I have had others say that it was the best decision of their life.  See my post titled how to find a therapist.

Living with mental illness is not an easy task.  In fact, it’s a very daunting one if you don’t seek some type of understanding and treatment. It can be daunting for the family of the individual, and the one suffering. There isn’t a clear solution and of how to “fix” it and that can be frustrating.  So, lets back up I used the term “fix” in air quotes because many people with a mental illness say they are broken, of course, that is not true. You can take many steps to help yourself. It really does start with identifying the issue first. There are many simple things you can do that really help, like exercise, mediation, finding routines, education, self-care, identifying your triggers, psychotherapy, and support groups to name a few.  You may go through a ton of coping skills before finding one that truly works for you.  You may find yourself having several different coping skills and using them for different triggers. 

NAMI suggest that you try  ……

Radical acceptance

Deep breathing-  (You can check out my deep breathing exercises below)

“ How to master deep breathing”

Opposite -to – Emotion Thinking

The 5 Senses

Mental Reframing

Emotion Awareness

Deep Breathing

Breathing is an annoying cliché at this point, but that’s because the best way to calm anxiety really is to breathe deeply. When battling my own anxiety, I turned to the concept of “5 3 7” breathing:

• Breathe in for 5 seconds
• Hold the breath for 3 seconds
• Breathe out for 7 seconds

This gentle repetition sends a message to the brain that everything is okay (or it will be soon). Before long, your heart will slow its pace and you will begin to relax—sometimes without even realizing it.

Opposite-to-Emotion Thinking

Opposite-to-emotion thinking is how it sounds: You act in the opposite way your emotions tell you to act. Say you’re feeling upset and you have the urge to isolate. Opposite-to-emotion tells you to go out and be around people—the opposite action of isolation. When you feel anxious, combat that with something calming like meditation. When you feel manic, turn to something that stabilizes you. This technique is probably one of the hardest to put into play, but if you can manage it, the results are incredible.

The 5 Senses

Another effective way to use your physical space to ground you through a crisis is by employing a technique called “The 5 Senses.” Instead of focusing on a specific object, with “The 5 Senses” you run through what each of your senses is experiencing in that moment. As an example, imagine a PTSD flashback comes on in the middle of class. Stop! Look around you. See the movement of a clock’s hands. Feel the chair beneath you. Listen to your teacher’s voice. Smell the faint aroma of the chalkboard. Chew a piece of gum.

Running through your senses will take only a few seconds and will help keep you present and focused on what is real, on what is happening right now.

Mental Reframing

Mental reframing involves taking an emotion or stressor and thinking of it in a different way. Take, for example, getting stuck in traffic. Sure, you could think to yourself, “Wow, my life is horrible. I’m going to be late because of this traffic. Why does this always happen to me?”

Or you can reframe that thought, which might look something like, “This traffic is bad, but I’ll still get to where I’m going. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I’ll just listen to music or an audiobook to pass the time.” Perfecting this technique can literally change your perspective in tough situations. But as you might imagine, this skill takes time and practice.

Emotion Awareness

If you live in denial of your emotions, it will take far longer to take care of them, because once we recognize what we’re feeling, we can tackle it or whatever is causing it. So, if you’re feeling anxious, let yourself be anxious for a couple of minutes—then meditate. If you’re feeling angry, let yourself be angry—then listen to some calming music. Be in touch with your emotions. Accept that you are feeling a certain way, let yourself feel that way and then take action to diminish unhealthy feelings.

You can’t control that you have mental illness, but you can control how you respond to your symptoms. This is not simple or easy (like everything else with mental illness), but learning, practicing and perfecting coping techniques can help you feel better emotionally, spiritually and physically. I’ve tried all the above techniques, and they have transformed the way I cope with my mental health struggles.

It takes strength and persistence to recover from mental illness—to keep fighting symptoms in the hopes of feeling better. Even if you feel weak or powerless against the battles you face every day, you are incredibly strong for living through them. Practical and simple methods can help you in your fight. Take these techniques into consideration, and there will be a clear change in the way you feel and live your life.

source :https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/January-2019/Self-Help-Techniques-for-Coping-with-Mental-Illness

People are gaining more awareness and acceptance of mental illness. It is no longer a taboo to speak about. A great mind is a wise one!

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Negative thinking can take a toll on your body cause it can equate to what many would consider stress or anxiety.  There is a big difference between stress,anxiety, and negative thinking.  However, we will focus on negative thinking today.

Let’s say that you only believe you are deserving if you meet particular accomplishments or achievements. You may feel the constant need to do things in order to temporarily make yourself feel good. Think about how long those moments last for you.  Do you have instant gratification, are you on cloud 9 when things go right.  What about when they go wrong.. How long do you find yourself upset for?

A few things that may happen if you have negative thinking

Thought Rumination- Ruminating over one particular thinking or a few over and over. 

Always thinking the worst case scenario

Restless sleeping

Losing focus 

Self-Blaming

Self-Esteem issues

Depression

You might find yourself self-isolating from successful friends or family, and getting along better with those who may also have negative thinking. 

Think about your thinking patterns, but be honest with yourself. Are you often a negative thinker? Do you find yourself being more negative at things that happen in your own life, the life of others or even both?  Honesty goes a long when trying to repair your train of thought. So be truthful with yourself.  Your thoughts are safe with you.

Good news ! Overcoming these negative thoughts are repairable.  However, like anything else in life you have to practice.  I mean practice regularly.   Just think,you have years and years of these negative behaviors. Those thoughts are not just going to turn into positive ones overnight.  The very first thing that needs to happen is self-awareness. Know exactly where you stand with your beliefs. Ask yourself these questions to find out just how negative they are and who they affect.  If you have children you better believe that your negative thinking can also bounce right off you onto them.  

If your negative thinking is more closely related to anxiety, be kind to yourself.  No one asks to have a mental illness and it’s not your fault if you suffer from anxiety.  So, also know the difference in where your negative thinking is coming from.  It is coming from a long history of negative thinking, being around negative people in a toxic environment, or could it be stemmed from stress and anxiety. Once you realize where your negative thinking is stemmed from you will  have a much better way of how you should go about repairing it. 

One thing that is important for you to realize is to understand that you are deserving.  Just because you think negative doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. Trust yourself, you’ve done something right in life! Don’t discount all the things that you have done in life that made you proud of yourself.  Sure you may not be exactly where you want to be in life, it doesn’t mean just because you are not there that you will never get there. 

It would not surprise me if the people who you frequently gather with have shared their feelings about your behavior by now. Perhaps, they have shared with you that you’re negative or have shared their opinion with other people. They may have even begun to distance themselves from you. People who may have been a part of your biggest support system may no longer want to be around you.  We have to be careful not to run away people who mean us well in life. Do yourself a favor at some point when you’re ready to realize that you are truly a negative thinker, and  can actually say it outloud then share your belief.  Share your belief  to those who still decided to stick around. Ask them to hold you accountable for your negativity.  Trying to change your mindset will constantly require you to redirect your thoughts as soon as you become aware.   For example, if you say there is no point in me going to the grocery store cause they will be out of milk.  You might consider let me go to the store to see if they have my favorite milk back in stock. I can grab some other things while i’m there.  I am sure that your negative thinking will be in much more depth than just going to the store for milk.  However, something simple as that milk thought, just shows how even the simplest things might be affected by your thoughts. 

1. Redirect your thoughts! All of them, even the simplest ones. 
2. If you have a hard time redirecting your thoughts, validate your self belief.  If you say “ I am the biggest loser and I never do anything right, I am just stupid”  Validate it!  Break down the sentence.  Let’s rewrite it. 

Negative : I am the biggest loser, and I never do anything right, I am just stupid.

Positive :  I don’t always win but I have won before, I’m smart I can do it again. 

You will need to continue to dispute your beliefs and your cognitive distortions, and replace them all with more realistic positive ones. When you begin to confront your negative thinking you will begin to notice how many of those thoughts are so far from the truth.  Once you validate your negative  beliefs are not true, accept the new positive belief.  It would be unwise to constantly revisit those negative thoughts.  Remember to trust yourself.  You have been right before in the past.  

Then remember how much control do you really have over the outcome?  You have absolutely no control of how things turn out.  None of us do.  We put ourselves in positions to have things go the way that we want  but we no there are no guarantees.  We just have to trust that things will go right, we just have to believe that they will.

Learn more about manifestation and the laws of attraction if you want.  The laws of attractions say that even our idle thoughts have an impact on how things may turn out.

Are you in touch with your negative thinking?  

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