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		<title>Mental Health 101 and What You Need To Know </title>
		<link>https://ladiesandlemons.com/why-mental-health-matters/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2020 02:21:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentalhealthmatters]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://ladiesandlemons.com/?p=956</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; &#160; How mental health was perceived in the past? We often underestimate how deeply our world is affected by Mental illness. &#160;  Mental illness has been around since the beginning of time. Ages ago many would say that if someone was mentally ill that they were “mad” or even “ possessed by spirits”.  Back &#8230; </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/why-mental-health-matters/">Mental Health 101 and What You Need To Know </a> appeared first on <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com"></a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>How mental health was perceived in the past?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We often underestimate how deeply our world is affected by Mental illness.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Mental illness has been around since the beginning of time. Ages ago many would say that if someone was mentally ill that they were “mad” or even “ possessed by spirits”. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Back in the day around the 1930’s many were treated with Electroconvulsive therapy.  You may know Electroconvulsive therapy as “shock therapy”.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Before that, in the mid-1800s the mentally ill would essentially be sedated or restrained in overcrowded asylums. </span></p><div class="ladie-content_3" id="ladie-149696804"><a href="https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100136352-10828619" target="_top">
<img src="https://www.lduhtrp.net/image-100136352-10828619" width="728" height="90" alt="" border="0"/></a></div>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The majority of the schools of thought also came from back in the early 1800s &amp; 1900s. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>Mental Health History </b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now I promise not to turn this blog post into a history lesson but the back story on psychology as a whole is a very interesting one.</span></p>
<p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;">(Please pinky swear you will go and read some information about the etiology of mental health and psychology) </span></i></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are probably a few things that you may have a misconception about when it comes to mental health.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It’s my goal to dispel some of the beliefs and share how much mental health has grown over the years. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> We are beginning to speak about mental health now like it is a priority. It should have always been a priority but we can’t do much to change the past right.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It is a priority of mine and I will explain exactly why you should make it a priority of yours too whether you suffer from mental illness or not.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What You Should Know About Mental Health?</b></h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Have you ever found yourself calling another person crazy, because they may have done something that wasn’t what you considered normal? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You know stuff like walking down the street with no clothes on or fighting the air? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> We have all seen it right? Maybe in real life or perhaps on television. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What Kind of Movies That Talk About Mental Health?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Many movies like</span> <a href="https://amzn.to/38eNvtm"><b>Sybil</b></a><b>, </b><a href="https://amzn.to/2CWX84l"><b>Girl Interrupted</b></a><b>, </b><a href="https://amzn.to/3dM8zIw"><b>Beautiful mind</b></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, etc… display characters who suffer from mental illness.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You may have watched the movies for mere entertainment……or you could have finished the movies with a plethora of questions that went unanswered. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first time you may have experienced some form of someone with mental illness, you may have been fairly young.  </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Young enough to know that something was different but also young enough not to understand what that could have meant. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Sometimes parents could have it explained as “ don’t mind her/him she’s just special!  Well, we are special right!</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> I mean what does “special” even mean?  I’m going to venture to guess that whatever information you did receive about mental illness it was probably not a very detailed one. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What do you need to do?</b></h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, whatever your belief was about mental health back then you more than likely have some of those same beliefs now in 2020. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Now don’t beat yourself up we all have been misinformed on many things. Being misinformed doesn’t make us bad people.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> The fact that you are reading this allows me to know that you want to clear up any misconceptions and you’re ready to share what you learn with others right?</span></p>
<p><b>Let’s Dive</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in a little and come to an understanding of what </span><b>mental illness</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> really is.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What is mental illness? (Glad you asked)</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now that we’ve pretty much accepted that the definition you have about mental health is not the best one let’s clear it up. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>Mental Health Definition </b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mental Illness is a wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking, and behaviors.  so you may be thinking to yourself so that sounds a lot like what happens when you use drugs. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Well, you right! drugs can also affect your mood, thinking, and behaviors.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Generally, people who have substance use disorders along with mental health disorders are diagnosed as having a co-occurring.  </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You may also here is sometimes called a dual or substance disorder which includes alcohol or drug abuse.  </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>Where did mental illness Even come from?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This is probably the most asked question related to mental illness.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">  There are different beliefs about why people have a mental illness.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">  There have been multiple studies on changes in the brain, changes in chemical imbalances and you can read a few of the studies that I follow actively here. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As well as well-respected researchers around the world who have dedicated the majority of their lives to finding a breakthrough on mental illness.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Others may argue that it was passed down by a family member.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can learn the diagnosis who are believed to have genetic components here. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Mental Health Matters because mental illness can be a part of your family for generations to co</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">me.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What affects mental health?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Below I will share a list of studies that have been shown to have genetic components. Scientists have recognized that the following psychiatric disorders tend to run in families according to the National Institutes of Health. (</span><a href="https://www.nih.gov/health-information"><b>www.nih.gov</b></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">)</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You can also search many other articles to learn more about these.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression"><b>Major Depressive Disorder </b></a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.autismspeaks.org/"><b>Autism</b></a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/ADHD"><b>Attention Deficit Hyperactivity (ADHD</b></a><b>)</b></p>
<p><a href="https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Bipolar-Disorder"><b>Bi-Polar Disorder</b></a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Schizophrenia"><b>Schizophrenia</b></a></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One thing you can do to help narrow down if your family has ties to mental illness is to have your therapist do a genogram for you. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The genogram is like a family tree although much more detailed. A genogram is a pictorial display of a person’s family relationships and medical history.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It goes beyond a traditional family tree by allowing the user to visualize hereditary patterns and psychological factors that punctuate relationships.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>Is there a cure for Mental Illness?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is no magic pill or anything proven that will allow your mental illness to magically disappear. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">So, unfortunately, there is no cure! However, you can learn more about the latest research on topics related to a cure from a simple search. There are plenty of treatment options to choose from. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> There are also holistic methods of treatments as well as medications that work extremely well especially with certain diagnoses. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Medication along with psychotherapy work amazingly well together. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span><b>Mental Health Matters</b><span style="font-weight: 400;">!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now a question often comes up and that is</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>People can’t have a “normal life” with mental illness?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You can have a normal life if you have a mental illness. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Whatever your definition of normal you can still have that with a mental illness. Read my blog post on </span><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/combating-mental-illness/"><b>how to combat mental illness</b></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You </span><b>will</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> be faced with challenges if you have a mental illness. News flash……… we all will be faced with challenges.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You may have to work a little harder, a little longer to make sure that you have what you need to cope. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Read more &gt;&gt; <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/combating-mental-illness/">How to combat mental illness</a> &gt;&gt;</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What if my culture does not believe in treating mental illness? </b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are tons of cultures that are not so fond of mental health services.  </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Not saying that you should go against your beliefs, values, or culture but mental health is a personal journey. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Although mental health can affect the entire family it truly is taking a step in your progress as an individual.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p>
<h3><strong>Have a conversation </strong></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Having a conversation about what you believe is right for you is very important when taking your journey. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You have full control of who you allow in your circle of support.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><strong>See a therapist. </strong></h3>
<p><b>Overall</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> deciding to see a therapist is your personal choice.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>  &gt;&gt; Read my blog post on<a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/finding-a-new-therapist/"> how to find a new therapist here</a>.&gt;&gt;</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>Why does mental health Matter?</b></h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><b>Mental health</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. </span></p>
<p><b>Mental health is important</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mental health matters because we matter.  Our lives matter, our well-being, and our choices matter.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>What can I do to be a part of the change?</b></h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> We have the right to be seen and heard in the light instead of suffering in the dark.  Those who suffer from mental health deserve to be able to walk outside and not be called crazy.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">  Those who suffer from mental health deserve to go ask for help without being called crazy. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Those who suffer from mental health should not be discriminated against because they have a diagnosis. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span><b>Mental health matters</b><span style="font-weight: 400;"> because our mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers, and our friends matter. Make sharing your knowledge about mental health a priority. Cause your voice matters.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> The more you know the more you share. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Your mental health is important to be sure to make it a priority!</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Pin me!</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters.jpg"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1088" src="https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters-200x300.jpg" alt="Mental health " width="200" height="300" srcset="https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters-200x300.jpg 200w, https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters-40x60.jpg 40w, https://ladiesandlemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/why-mental-health-matters.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>Final Note</b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mental health should be prioritized and should be taught more often.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you feel you’re struggling with mental health, then please consult a professional.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><strong>Related article about mental health:</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/finding-a-new-therapist/"><strong>How to find a new therapist</strong></a></li>
<li><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/combating-mental-illness/"><strong>How to combat mental health</strong></a></li>
<li><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/kick-mental-health-in-the-butt/"><strong>What to do when you have mental health</strong></a></li>
</ul>
<div class="ladie-after-content_2" id="ladie-879329689"><a href="https://www.kqzyfj.com/click-100136352-14505920" target="_top">
<img src="https://www.lduhtrp.net/image-100136352-14505920" width="600" height="300" alt="" border="0"/></a></div><p>The post <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/why-mental-health-matters/">Mental Health 101 and What You Need To Know </a> appeared first on <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com"></a></p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">956</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>5 Reasons You’re Not Happy and How to Fix it</title>
		<link>https://ladiesandlemons.com/reasons-why-you-cant-find-happiness/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Jun 2020 01:19:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Self-Care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Developement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healing journey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental health awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental illness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentalhealthmatters]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ladiesandlemons.com/blog/?p=137</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160;       How to find joy in life? Let’s start off by saying that happiness is an inside job.  It is solely up to you to decide what happiness means to you. You may need to do a little self-exploration.  &#160; Finding joy in life can be achieved with self explorations.  &#160; &#160; &#8230; </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/reasons-why-you-cant-find-happiness/">5 Reasons You’re Not Happy and How to Fix it</a> appeared first on <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com"></a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2> </h2>
<h2> </h2>
<h2> </h2>
<h2><b>How to find joy in life?</b></h2>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s start off by saying that happiness is an inside job.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> It is solely up to you to decide what happiness means to you. You may need to do a little self-exploration. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Finding joy in life can be achieved with self explorations. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Read more &gt;&gt;<a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/who-are-you/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong> How to find yourself as a woman</strong></a></p><div class="ladie-content_3" id="ladie-3851729299"><a href="https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100136352-10828619" target="_top">
<img src="https://www.lduhtrp.net/image-100136352-10828619" width="728" height="90" alt="" border="0"/></a></div>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>What does self explorations mean?</b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first thing it will take is for you to take ownership. Taking ownership means no more pointing fingers.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> No more blaming others when things don’t go in your favor.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Ask yourself do you have a hard time apologizing? If the answer is yes then it is probably likely that there are plenty of things that you still may have not taken ownership of.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> No worries you have time to start now!</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">First, we have to talk about </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">what does happiness means anyway. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>What does it mean to you to be happy?</b></h3>
<ul>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Does it mean being married?</span></li>
<li style="font-weight: 400;" aria-level="1"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Having the perfect job? Having a lot of money?</span></li>
</ul>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once you figure out what does it mean for you to be happy then you can decide what it is that you need to do to get it.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The first question that might come to you is Why do I find it difficult to be happy?</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Let’s take a look at few reasons why you find it difficult to be happy.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>Why do I find it difficult to be happy?</b></h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>-Reasons why You can’t Find Happiness</b></h3>
<h3> </h3>
<h3><b>1- You don’t know what you want</b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For you to feel happiness in life, you should know what you really want? </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do you find yourself being picky about general things?</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Things such as when trying to find the perfect spouse. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Remember the whole tall, dark, and handsome spiel back when our parents used to watch soap operas.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Surprisingly, many still watch soaps! Nothing is wrong with Soaps but the men on there are pretty close to perfect. You refuse to give up your 100 item list of must-haves.  </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><b>2- You don’t know your values</b></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It’s important to have values and stay true to them.  So, if someone does not meet your core values then you deserve to paddle on past them.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><b>How to fix that?</b></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Take the word “perfect” and remove it from your vocabulary.  </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> One of my favorite ways to find out more about what I am missing in life is to use Reality Therapy. Reality Therapy was founded by William Glasser M.D. back in the 1960s where he explored the unsuccessful attainment of basic needs. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Fulfilling essential needs is a part of a person’s present life and it does not focus on your past, just the here and now which I like!</span></p>
<h3> </h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Learn more about</span> <a href="https://amzn.to/3cBHpnn"><b>Reality Therapy Here</b></a><b>. </b></p>
<h3> </h3>
<p><i><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Side note: In no way shape or form am I saying that you need a spouse to feel complete but a life partner can definitely aid in your journey in finding happiness. </span></i></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>2.  You Overthink</b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">  Have you ever just sat in your own thoughts.  I mean like in complete silence to determine what you really want out of life.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> What will it take to really make you find joy?</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">  Some people really have challenges with being alone and really despise the thought of being in their own sole presence.</span></p>
<h3> </h3>
<h3><b>How to fix that?</b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One thing to help you in this problem is to journal and let out your thoughts to just flow without judging them.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And if you hate journaling, try to go on a rant with yourself and then decide to let it go. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>3.  You compare yourself to others</b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Turn the TV off and ditch the magazines for a second.  Social media and Reality Television have given us this false narrative that we need to have all these things to feel complete.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Many of us can’t afford their suggestions and oddly enough we will still try to keep up with others.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Many people including those on television are only showing us a small portion of their lives. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>How to fix that?</b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Remember it’s hard to see the picture if you’re always in the frame. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">You don’t need to cut on social media at the beginning but what you can do is to only watch and follow other women or people who make you feel good about yourself.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This way you won’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to women who make you feel low. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>4- You don’t know how to love yourself.</b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This might seem pretty simple, but how can you expect to be completely happy when you don’t love yourself?</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>How to fix that?</b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Loving yourself consists of learning to accept every flaw that you can think of.  Even those flaws that you don’t want to think about the need to be included.  This is when you dive deep into all the things that you don’t like about yourself and accept them. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ask yourself the reasons why you don’t like these things about yourself. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Although in your eyes your opinion of yourself may be valid it does not mean that you are not deserving of the things that you want in life. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">And lastly, </span></p>
<h2> </h2>
<h3><b>5- You take yourself so seriously </b></h3>
<h3> </h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you want to be happy you just need to know how to Chill.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Chill, relax, take a load off, etc. …  Seriously,  why take yourself so seriously. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>How to fix that?</b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> True enough you may need to take some things seriously in life but not all things.  We indeed have the ability to pick and choose our battles, and over the years you will learn all battles aren’t even worth the fight.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> So next time you find your panties in a bunch quickly redirect your thoughts to a lesser challenge. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Do a little soul searching, Self Exploration, and Re-create the perfect version of yourself.  You can even check out my </span><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/shop/"><span style="font-weight: 400;">ebook</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Finding joy in life can be hectic but it doesn’t necessarily need to be. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>Here are 2 ways that you can use to find joy</b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2><b>How can I find happiness?</b></h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b> 1- Create A Theme</b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Get out the frame and draw your own picture. What does happiness mean to you and better yet what does it look like, what does it taste like, what does it feel like. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> These are all of the things that you are going to want to know.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You want to know these things so that you can visualize exactly how you want them to be. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>2- Create A Vision Board </b></h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> A few things that I like to do is to create vision boards. Visions Boards help me stay focused on my goals and it also serves as a constant reminder of what I want so I don’t lose track.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> I also am a firm believer in the laws of attractions. One of my favorite movies and books to read, when I was first introduced to the LOA, is the “Secret”.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> You can probably find it on a streaming service or you can purchase it</span> <a href="https://amzn.to/37iO05b"><b>here</b></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.  Another good read is the</span> <a href="https://amzn.to/2XBUOr4"><b>Four Agreements.</b></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><b>Final Note </b></h3>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If you still struggle on how to find joy in life there might be another issue outside of your control that makes you feel this way. </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Regardless of what’s causing your unhappiness know that there is always a way to fix it.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3><strong>Related post:</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/who-are-you/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><strong>How to find yourself as a woman</strong></a></li>
<li><strong><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/ways-feel-empowered-as-woman/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9 Ways to Make You Feel Like A Empowered Woman in 2021</a></strong></li>
<li><strong><a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/lawstoliveby/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Self awareness activities to find yourself as a woman </a></strong></li>
</ul>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div class="ladie-after-content_2" id="ladie-126902868"><a href="https://www.kqzyfj.com/click-100136352-14505920" target="_top">
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		<title>Challenge your negative thoughts</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2020 04:40:18 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Developement]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ladiesandlemons.com/blog/?p=123</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>There is an array of things that can cause negative thinking. Let’s start with what exactly negative thinking is. Negative thinking can briefly be described as having self-defeating beliefs, negative thinking patterns are not always with you. Rather, they only surface when you are faced with an issue. Also, known as cognitive distortions, these negative &#8230; </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/challenge-your-negative-thoughts/">Challenge your negative thoughts</a> appeared first on <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com"></a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>There is an array of things that can cause negative thinking. Let’s start with what exactly negative thinking is. Negative thinking can briefly be described as having self-defeating beliefs, negative thinking patterns are not always with you. Rather, they only surface when you are faced with an issue. Also, known as cognitive distortions, these negative thoughts will come to mind during times of stress and reinforce your self-defeating beliefs.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Negative thinking can take a toll on your body cause it can equate to what many would consider stress or anxiety.&nbsp; There is a big difference between stress,anxiety, and negative thinking.&nbsp; However, we will focus on negative thinking today.</p>



<p>Let&#8217;s say that you only believe you are deserving if you meet particular accomplishments or achievements. You may feel the constant need to do things in order to temporarily make yourself feel good. Think about how long those moments last for you.&nbsp; Do you have instant gratification, are you on cloud 9 when things go right.&nbsp; What about when they go wrong.. How long do you find yourself upset for?</p>



<p>A few things that may happen if you have negative thinking</p><div class="ladie-content_3" id="ladie-1002509826"><a href="https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100136352-10828619" target="_top">
<img src="https://www.lduhtrp.net/image-100136352-10828619" width="728" height="90" alt="" border="0"/></a></div>



<p>Thought Rumination- Ruminating over one particular thinking or a few over and over.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Always thinking the worst case scenario</p>



<p>Restless sleeping</p>



<p>Losing focus&nbsp;</p>



<p>Self-Blaming</p>



<p>Self-Esteem issues</p>



<p>Depression</p>



<p>You might find yourself self-isolating from successful friends or family, and getting along better with those who may also have negative thinking.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Think about your thinking patterns, but be honest with yourself. Are you often a negative thinker? Do you find yourself being more negative at things that happen in your own life, the life of others or even both?&nbsp; Honesty goes a long when trying to repair your train of thought. So be truthful with yourself.&nbsp; Your thoughts are safe with you.</p>



<p>Good news ! Overcoming these negative thoughts are repairable.  However, like anything else in life you have to practice.  I mean practice regularly.   Just think,you have years and years of these negative behaviors. Those thoughts are not just going to turn into positive ones overnight.  The very first thing that needs to happen is self-awareness. Know exactly where you stand with your beliefs. Ask yourself these questions to find out just how negative they are and who they affect.  If you have children you better believe that your negative thinking can also bounce right off you onto them.   </p>



<p>If your negative thinking is more closely related to anxiety, be kind to yourself.  No one asks to have a mental illness and it’s not your fault if you suffer from anxiety.  So, also know the difference in where your negative thinking is coming from.  It is coming from a long history of negative thinking, being around negative people in a toxic environment, or could it be stemmed from stress and anxiety. Once you realize where your negative thinking is stemmed from you will  have a much better way of how you should go about repairing it. </p>



<p>One thing that is important for you to realize is to understand that you are deserving.  Just because you think negative doesn&#8217;t mean that you are a bad person. Trust yourself, you’ve done something right in life! Don’t discount all the things that you have done in life that made you proud of yourself.  Sure you may not be exactly where you want to be in life, it doesn’t mean just because you are not there that you will never get there. </p>



<p> It would not surprise me if the people who you frequently gather with have shared their feelings about your behavior by now. Perhaps, they have shared with you that you&#8217;re negative or have shared their opinion with other people. They may have even begun to distance themselves from you. People who may have been a part of your biggest support system may no longer want to be around you.  We have to be careful not to run away people who mean us well in life. Do yourself a favor at some point when you&#8217;re ready to realize that you are truly a negative thinker, and  can actually say it outloud then share your belief.  Share your belief  to those who still decided to stick around. Ask them to hold you accountable for your negativity.  Trying to change your mindset will constantly require you to redirect your thoughts as soon as you become aware.   For example, if you say there is no point in me going to the grocery store cause they will be out of milk.  You might consider let me go to the store to see if they have my favorite milk back in stock. I can grab some other things while i&#8217;m there.  I am sure that your negative thinking will be in much more depth than just going to the store for milk.  However, something simple as that milk thought, just shows how even the simplest things might be affected by your thoughts. </p>



<ol class="wp-block-list"><li>Redirect your thoughts! All of them, even the simplest ones.&nbsp;</li><li>If you have a hard time redirecting your thoughts, validate your self belief.&nbsp; If you say “ I am the biggest loser and I never do anything right, I am just stupid”&nbsp; Validate it!&nbsp; Break down the sentence.&nbsp; Let’s rewrite it.&nbsp;</li></ol>



<p>Negative : I am the biggest loser, and I never do anything right, I am just stupid.</p>



<p>Positive :  I don’t always win but I have won before, I’m smart I can do it again. </p>



<p>You will need to continue to dispute your beliefs and your cognitive distortions, and replace them all with more realistic positive ones. When you begin to confront your negative thinking you will begin to notice how many of those thoughts are so far from the truth.&nbsp; Once you validate your negative&nbsp; beliefs are not true, accept the new positive belief.&nbsp; It would be unwise to constantly revisit those negative thoughts.&nbsp; Remember to trust yourself.&nbsp; You have been right before in the past.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>



<p>Then remember how much control do you really have over the outcome?&nbsp; You have absolutely no control of how things turn out.&nbsp; None of us do.&nbsp; We put ourselves in positions to have things go the way that we want&nbsp; but we no there are no guarantees.&nbsp; We just have to trust that things will go right, we just have to believe that they will.</p>



<p>Learn more about manifestation and the laws of attraction if you want.  The laws of attractions say that even our idle thoughts have an impact on how things may turn out.</p>



<p>Are you in touch with your negative thinking?&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Bi-Polar I vs Bi-Polar II</title>
		<link>https://ladiesandlemons.com/bi-polar-i-vs-bi-polar-ii/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2020 04:24:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
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		<title>Grieving and Loss</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 13 May 2020 19:40:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Grieving and Loss is never easy. There is often nothing that can be said or done to soothe the feelings of emptiness that one may possess when we are faced with the unimaginable. We all grieve under our own circumstances and at our own pace whenever the time is right for us. Everyone&#8217;s grief story &#8230; </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com/grieving-and-loss/">Grieving and Loss</a> appeared first on <a href="https://ladiesandlemons.com"></a></p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>Grieving and Loss is never easy. There is often nothing that can be said or done to soothe the feelings of emptiness that one may possess when we are faced with the unimaginable. We all grieve under our own circumstances and at our own pace whenever the time is right for us.  Everyone&#8217;s grief story will be different and unfortunately there&#8217;s no one size fits all type that will just fix it all.  If it is too soon for you and you just can&#8217;t seem to get your head wrapped around anything and hear yourself saying &#8221; where do i begin&#8221; then I have listed a few binge worthy reads and flicks to help.  If you find that you are having a difficult time I encouraged to find a therapist to speak with. </p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/3cq9bDX" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Tear Soup</a> by Chuck DeKlyen ( child friendly)</p>



<p><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://amzn.to/3cvkbA1" target="_blank">When Things Fall Apart</a> by Pema Chondron</p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/2y4p7wQ" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Necessary Losses</a> by Judith Viorst</p><div class="ladie-content_3" id="ladie-3340284225"><a href="https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100136352-10828619" target="_top">
<img src="https://www.lduhtrp.net/image-100136352-10828619" width="728" height="90" alt="" border="0"/></a></div>



<p><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://amzn.to/2yTAyru" target="_blank">The way Men Heal </a>by Thomas R. Golden</p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/2WQAkti" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Invisible String</a> </p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/3cv2ZdH" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Next Place</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/3brvesx" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">COCO</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/2WqWSSi" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Ordinary People</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/2WuldXu" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">PS I Love You</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/2T169yr" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/2zDtPlj" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Collateral Beauty</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/35X9hQS" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Breathe</a></p>



<p><a href="https://amzn.to/3btOB4c" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">After Life</a></p>



<p>Podcast Terrible, Thanks for asking</p>



<p>One Last Hug: Three Days at Grief Camp</p>



<p></p>
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