Self-Care, Self-Developement

5 Reasons You’re Not Happy and How to Fix it





How to find joy in life?

Let’s start off by saying that happiness is an inside job.

 It is solely up to you to decide what happiness means to you. You may need to do a little self-exploration. 


Finding joy in life can be achieved with self explorations. 




Read more >> How to find yourself as a woman


What does self explorations mean?


The first thing it will take is for you to take ownership. Taking ownership means no more pointing fingers.


 No more blaming others when things don’t go in your favor.

 Ask yourself do you have a hard time apologizing? If the answer is yes then it is probably likely that there are plenty of things that you still may have not taken ownership of.


 No worries you have time to start now!


First, we have to talk about what does happiness means anyway. 



What does it mean to you to be happy?

  • Does it mean being married?
  •  Having the perfect job? Having a lot of money?



Once you figure out what does it mean for you to be happy then you can decide what it is that you need to do to get it.


The first question that might come to you is Why do I find it difficult to be happy?


Let’s take a look at few reasons why you find it difficult to be happy.



Why do I find it difficult to be happy?


-Reasons why You can’t Find Happiness


1- You don’t know what you want


For you to feel happiness in life, you should know what you really want? 


Do you find yourself being picky about general things?


Things such as when trying to find the perfect spouse. 



Remember the whole tall, dark, and handsome spiel back when our parents used to watch soap operas.


 Surprisingly, many still watch soaps! Nothing is wrong with Soaps but the men on there are pretty close to perfect. You refuse to give up your 100 item list of must-haves.  


2- You don’t know your values


It’s important to have values and stay true to them.  So, if someone does not meet your core values then you deserve to paddle on past them.



How to fix that?


Take the word “perfect” and remove it from your vocabulary.  


 One of my favorite ways to find out more about what I am missing in life is to use Reality Therapy. Reality Therapy was founded by William Glasser M.D. back in the 1960s where he explored the unsuccessful attainment of basic needs. 



 Fulfilling essential needs is a part of a person’s present life and it does not focus on your past, just the here and now which I like!


 Learn more about Reality Therapy Here


 Side note: In no way shape or form am I saying that you need a spouse to feel complete but a life partner can definitely aid in your journey in finding happiness. 


2.  You Overthink

   Have you ever just sat in your own thoughts.  I mean like in complete silence to determine what you really want out of life.


 What will it take to really make you find joy?


  Some people really have challenges with being alone and really despise the thought of being in their own sole presence.


How to fix that?

One thing to help you in this problem is to journal and let out your thoughts to just flow without judging them.


And if you hate journaling, try to go on a rant with yourself and then decide to let it go. 




3.  You compare yourself to others


Turn the TV off and ditch the magazines for a second.  Social media and Reality Television have given us this false narrative that we need to have all these things to feel complete.


 Many of us can’t afford their suggestions and oddly enough we will still try to keep up with others.


 Many people including those on television are only showing us a small portion of their lives. 



How to fix that?


Remember it’s hard to see the picture if you’re always in the frame. 

You don’t need to cut on social media at the beginning but what you can do is to only watch and follow other women or people who make you feel good about yourself.


This way you won’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to women who make you feel low. 





4- You don’t know how to love yourself.

This might seem pretty simple, but how can you expect to be completely happy when you don’t love yourself?


How to fix that?

 Loving yourself consists of learning to accept every flaw that you can think of.  Even those flaws that you don’t want to think about the need to be included.  This is when you dive deep into all the things that you don’t like about yourself and accept them. 

Ask yourself the reasons why you don’t like these things about yourself. 

Although in your eyes your opinion of yourself may be valid it does not mean that you are not deserving of the things that you want in life. 



And lastly, 


5- You take yourself so seriously 


If you want to be happy you just need to know how to Chill.

Chill, relax, take a load off, etc. …  Seriously,  why take yourself so seriously. 



How to fix that?


 True enough you may need to take some things seriously in life but not all things.  We indeed have the ability to pick and choose our battles, and over the years you will learn all battles aren’t even worth the fight.

 So next time you find your panties in a bunch quickly redirect your thoughts to a lesser challenge. 

Do a little soul searching, Self Exploration, and Re-create the perfect version of yourself.  You can even check out my ebook



Finding joy in life can be hectic but it doesn’t necessarily need to be. 





Here are 2 ways that you can use to find joy


How can I find happiness?


 1- Create A Theme

Get out the frame and draw your own picture. What does happiness mean to you and better yet what does it look like, what does it taste like, what does it feel like. 


 These are all of the things that you are going to want to know.


 You want to know these things so that you can visualize exactly how you want them to be. 


2- Create A Vision Board 


 A few things that I like to do is to create vision boards. Visions Boards help me stay focused on my goals and it also serves as a constant reminder of what I want so I don’t lose track.



 I also am a firm believer in the laws of attractions. One of my favorite movies and books to read, when I was first introduced to the LOA, is the “Secret”.


 You can probably find it on a streaming service or you can purchase it here.  Another good read is the Four Agreements.


Final Note 

If you still struggle on how to find joy in life there might be another issue outside of your control that makes you feel this way. 


Regardless of what’s causing your unhappiness know that there is always a way to fix it.



Related post:


Check out these too...

Popular Articles...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *