Who are you?

Let’s face it we have all come to a point in our lives when we have asked ourselves “ who am I “ !? You  probably have been wondering what your purpose is and how do you even begin to find out what that means.  I have heard people say well…. When you wake up in the morning and you find something that you can do daily for “Free” then that is what your purpose is.  So, I believed that for a while ! and… don’t get me wrong I’m not implying that it’s wrong or anything but my way of thinking has drastically changed.

 I just believe that finding your purpose…….. in life is something much deeper!

Deeper than just determining what you “like” or even “love” doing.  It takes a great deal of self-discovery to find out who you truly are and what you want to make out of this life.  The discovery stage can get pretty interesting.  

You might be feeling like you have no clue where to begin.  You might feel like you’re not good enough or nothing compared to your fabulous sibling’s life who appears to get everything right. Your life is not even remotely close to what people post online. Does any of this sound familiar? Let me just digress for a second about social media. Social media can be a great thing and for most people it kind of is their thing! Nothings wrong with that but really think about how much influence it has over you, your thoughts, your appearance, and your attitude. We most definitely can’t believe everything we see or read and compare it to our lives. You’ve heard the saying a picture is worth a thousand words well it’s true. Besides we haven’t the slightest clue what any of those people are truly going through.

Let’s first start off by  saying that you are good enough you just might be a little delayed with actually realizing that. Trust me! It can take time… A Lot of the time the most important thing is that you begin. Beginning is something as simple as having a plan of action. I have outlined a few tips to help get you started.

1st tip  You have to define what happiness means to you!  You would be surprisingly shocked to know that  many people have the slightest clue of what happiness is.  Ask yourself when was the last time you sat down and asked yourself what it would take for you to have complete happiness.  What would it take for you to embrace all of your flaws and be ready to tackle the challenges that come your way and still make yourself happy?  Let me guess ! NEVER!! Even if you have …. How often do you revisit that question? So many of us rely on others to make us happy and that is mistake number one. You see happiness is an inside job and we have control over that. As a younger person you do not have total control over having complete happiness because you are still required to follow the rules of someone else. However, there is nothing that states you can’t begin the self-discovery journey early.

So, defining what true happiness means to you is key!  Not what it means to anyone else but what it means to you.  Does happiness mean for you being successful, checking off a list of accomplishments, starting a family etc… One thing that I do want to highlight is to be very careful of thinking that material items will make you happy.  You want  to dig a little deeper, and focus on your core of happiness as materials can and will always come and go.   I have many patients who have this long laundry list of things that they believe will make them happy but….. they are even more unhappy because they feel that they are not deserving of them.  Have you ever watched that documentary of several lottery members who are completely unhappy after winning.  I mean for many of us it is a dream come true to win the lottery. Prime example of why material items should not be the core of your happiness. Sure money allows you to have access to more, perhaps experience more, and financial freedom doesn’t sound bad at all right.  Anyhow, none of the things that I mentioned have to do with the inside of who you really are. 

Next do a little more self-exploration and define your values. Many of us have values that may have been instilled unto us by our parents.  Some of us have good parents who appear to have it all figured out and the rest of us have parents who haven’t a clue as to why they even became parents. You might even wonder if your parents even came from another planet. My point is some values you may want to adopt as your own and others you might to explore and create values of your own.  Nothing is wrong with finding your own new path. Parents and family may want what’s best for you in their: own eyes, not yours. It is important not to let someone else’s personal reflection on your own.  Keep in mind  that if you have no clue what yours is then of course you will be more likely to adopt 

Now that you have put more effort into determining your definition of happiness, and you explored your values, take some time to set some realistic goals for yourself.  Make sure your goals are  S.M.A.R.T goals.  S.M.A.R.T goals are  for Specific, Measurable, Action/Attainable, Realistic, and Time bound. Your goal needs to be very specific.  You wouldn’t want to set a goal and say “ I’m going to write a book”  You might instead say I am going to write a book and  I will commit to writing 3 pages on Monday and Wednesday.  Ask yourself can you stick to this plan giving your regularly scheduled daily activity. When setting goals really think about what is realistic for you and if you will be able to commit to them. Don’t set yourself up by over doing it.  Remember one of the most important things you can do is just begin.

Now we have discussed some very simple steps to help you get started. Let’s focus on some of the challenges that have stopped you from getting ahead in the past. 

Make a list of the things that have stopped you in the past.  

Is there a person in your life who is always full of negativity? One of the most danced around topics is negative people.  We might want to keep people around due to their history with us but overall it can be a toxic relationship. Has someone in your family told you something that truly made you change your plans? We all know that we can have toxic family members as well. Remember these are your goals and plans! Sometimes it may be best not to always share your visions because sometimes it is difficult for others to see the picture. 

Is your mind cluttered with other “stuff”   ? Stuff can consist of tons of irrelevant things that take control of your mental  space or your physical space. Whichever one might be it is taking up valuable space that can cloud your creative judgement.  So, Clear your stuff to make room for more things of value. 

I invite you to subscribe to my Youtube channel and follow me on Instagram for other inspirations. I also have an email address dedicated for a special person just like you reach out to us at lemonadegangletter@gmail.com for questions. 

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