What makes a woman empowered?

As a woman especially those of us that lead a business we have this urge to feel empowered and to position ourselves firmly. 

What makes a woman feel empowered is different for all women.

So in this post, I’ll cover how can you feel empowered as a woman, what does it mean to be empowered, what empowers you as a woman, and more.

Keep reading. 

What does it mean to be empowered?

When I searched on Google what does it mean to be empowered, here is what I found. 

Personal empowerment is about taking control of your own life and making positive decisions based on what you want. It’s closely linked to attributes like self-esteem and self-confidence, but true empowerment comes when you convert intention into action.

But what does that mean for you?  

It’s about setting high standards for yourself, setting boundaries from the begging to position yourself firmly. 

It’s also about building up your self-confidence from the get-go, empowerment should make you feel in control and not self-controlled. 

How does it feel to be empowered?

For some women, this comes easy, as for other women it can be quite hard to build that feeling of empowerment. 

Feeling empowered comes from:

• Making your own decision
• Control your life
• Own your words
• Setting boundaries 
• Becoming authoritative

There is more that can be added to the list but generally this what feels to be empowered. 

Since you now know what does it mean to be empowered? What does it feel like? 

Let’s talk about the 5 types of empowerment.

What are the 5 types of empowerment? And How can a woman feel empowered?

There are general 5 types of empowerment 

1- Local level 

2- Career level 

3- Family level

4- Marriage level

5- Personal level

And let’s discuss each one in a brief description 

1- Local level 

It means the power you have in your social circle. This means do you run events in your community? Do you donate often? 

Do you volunteer around?

All these contribute to your empowerment.

2- Career Level

How do you run your business?  Which place are you at in your career?

Feeling empowered in your career is one of the most challenging things because we tend to critique ourselves and compare ourselves to the competition. 

When you are empowered, competition and others related items in career advancement tend to not be the biggest concern anymore. 

The hardest part is that there are lots of competition but ideally when you are empowered in this field everything becomes easy.

3- Family Level

Being a successful woman means that you have balance in all levels.

And if you learn anything from successful women out there, they often have high empowerment within their family. 

Don’t worry if you don’t have support from your family.

 Family can be very important to some and to others who don’t have family support it can be challenging. Plenty have turned friends and support systems into their self-made version of what they call family.

Be sure to nurture those around you such as your parents, siblings, grandparents, and any other relationships that are important to you. 

4- Marriage Level

Some women feel empowered in their marriage life and some just don’t. But if you want to feel empowered in your marriage life you should always have self-esteem and have firm relationship boundaries. 

If you put these in place you will remain true to self and speak up and not rely on your husband to feel validate. Setting boundaries allows to have independence within your marriage 

5- Personal Level 

If you want to start feeling empowered then start to focus on personal empowerment.

Personal level empowerment comes from self-confidence, self-esteem, and setting a high value for yourself.  

Now that we covered the 5 types of empowerment and how you as a woman can feel empowered, let’s move on to something that will tie this whole thing together.

How to empower yourself as a woman?

Again this comes easy for some women but here are 9 ways to empower yourself when you need that additional motivation 

1- Get coached

If you’re gonna take away something from this post, take this one.

Sometimes women feel like they should do it on their own but the truth is you don’t have to at all.

You can hire a coach to help you with many things, in your career, marriage, personal life, and more. 

2- Don’t be afraid 

Put yourself out there, don’t be afraid to show your true self. As a woman, we get this feeling of shame to express ourselves but if you want to empower yourself you need to express yourself more often. 

3- Learn and educate 

Have you heard that you get to learn twice if you teach? Well, this should be one way to empower yourself. 

Expand your knowledge in one area at a time, teach it to those around you to make yourself feel more authoritative.

Finish your school education or advance training if you haven’t done it already. There are so many ways that you can learn and educate. 

3- Stick to your beliefs 

We are made of what we believe in and if from time to time you change your beliefs it’s gonna be hard to be self-empowered.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t change your belief often but it means to adjust what’s truly valuable to you and what needs to be changed.

If you believe in something that is conservational stick to it, stand up for it. Explain your motive behind that belief.

 But in none aggressive way, you should be firm when you stand up to your beliefs.

This will guarantee you empowerment and the feeling to be empowered. 

4- Become a leader

One way to empower yourself is to become a leader yourself and this doesn’t mean to do anything crazy at the beginning. But it can be as simple as running charity work in your neighborhood.

You can also run a monthly “meeting” in your neighborhood of things that can be changed.

If you think enough outside the box you’ll find so many ways that you can become a leader.

5- Say No  

If you want to feel empowered one way to do that is to say no.

And we all know saying no can be a hassle or the feeling of guilt arises but hey empowered women don’t feel guilty when setting up boundaries.

If you struggle to say no often ask yourself this question what would I love? If I say yes how will this affect me directly? 

This literally can change the game for you without feeling guilty or coming off offensive. 

6- Practice feeling it

I’m not saying here that you should fake it till you make it cause with this type of work because this just doesn’t work. 

What you can do instead is to practice with yourself starting with thinking positive, things like:

I feel empowered through this work

Every time I do XYZ I feel empowered.

I am me I love myself it is a great feeling to be empowered. These positive affirmations will begin to help you change your mindset.

Practice saying that to yourself every day and see how you’ll show up and begin to see changes in your life.

7- Change your mentality 

Change your thoughts about what you believe society has taught you about women, if your society does put women under a pedestal it can be hard for you to position yourself to feel empowered.

This is why it’s important to remove negative thinking and reframe how you think. Society can put so much pressure on women to look a certain way or to think a certain way. Keep your eye on the prize and limit your social media use.

8- Surround yourself 

I believe that the 5 most people you spend your time with is who you are on the inside. 

If you spend your time with women who always seem to dwell on themselves you’ll have a hard time expressing yourself.

It might be hard to walk away from such people, but you can expand your reach and find ways to find women who want to feel empowered as much as you do.  

You can find women alike through blog posts and you can choose to hang out with your nearest empowered woman.

There are tons of ways to meet different who feel just like you. Check out Facebook groups, meet up, local women’s groups, or even niche-specific groups like public speaking groups, etc.

9- Do your part

Just like you want to be treated equally you yourself mustn’t dwell or shame other women. 

And to be honest all of us fall in this trap, where we shame other women. 

But this doesn’t mean you address women who need to be addressed.

It can simply mean to compliment your coworkers about anything that you feel they put enough effort into it. 

If one of your coworkers always tries to save the day you can compliment her about that. 

Pin me if you liked this post 

Final Note

If you decided to take at least a few points from this post, you will be in a much different place than you were before reading. 

Feeling empowered as a woman can be intimidating at first but once you get the hang of it, you’ll thank yourself when you look back. 

Feel free to sign up for our newsletter to share your story and listen to other women’s stories of their journey. 

Related Posts:

• How to Find Yourself as a Woman? – It’s Not What You Think
• Self awareness activities to find yourself as a woman 
• Reasons why you can’t find Happiness

9 Ways to Make You Feel Like Empowered Woman in 2021

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We asked and you answered! We are in the process building a list of these amazing topics that you all selected during our Instagram Survey.  We here at Ladies and Lemons are passionate about delivering quality content and we want you to stick around and get updated when they become available. This by far is not click bait and we are extremely excited to collaborate with others to make the best quality content. Sign up so that you can join us and not miss a thing. Stick around and check the many other topics posted!

UPCOMING ARTICLES

Growth Mindset

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Reasons to stay Active

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Balance and Mental Illness

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Mental Health Matters updated 11/1/2020 view post here

Eating A Balanced Meal and Eating Healthy with mental health

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So, your thinking about possibly dating! Or you may or know someone who is suffering from mental illness!  Have you begun to think rather or not you should engage in a relationship?  Perhaps you may think your not even deserving of a relationship.

 Heck you may even say that my mental illness is too much and I couldn’t possibly be in a relationship. 

Well…. the truth is, you can! YOU….. can be in a perfectly healthy relationship with someone!

Of course, just like any good relationship, it will require patience, understanding, communication, and dedication. 

I have outlined a few things that I feel are important when debating if a relationship is right for you.

1. Take care of yourself first! That’s why people always use the phrase “you can’t love someone else if you don’t first love yourself” because while we can care for others, and love them, if we don’t put ourselves first, that love and care isn’t coming from a healthy or secure place. You may find it very difficult to still remain attentive in the relationship if you find yourself needing more for yourself.  When you feel overwhelmed or needy be sure to have a conversation with your partner about your needs as well. 

Mental Illness is one of those things that others can not always see. Some symptoms may not always be apparent, and your spouse will often assume that everything is okay.  Have conversations with your spouse frequently when you are feeling great and even when you are not so great.  Doing so will help prevent unnecessary arguments.  All relationships will have its challenges but if you can keep the peace  by  being sensitive to the needs of others ….why not try! 

2. Process through your past! 

We can inadvertently use this relationship to try and work through our own struggles instead of taking the time to figure out what’s upsetting us.  We could also use it as a scapegoat and avoid our own problems. Let me say it again…. process through YOUR past, and try to act in a more healthy way. It’s normal to have bad habits in relationships – we all were raised, and adopted some bad habits overtime. This could be not talking openly about how we feel (most of us can relate to that), or we could have come from a home with addiction, so we struggle with enabling/codependent behavior, or we could have come from a home where we yelled and fought about everything whether we were even really upset. Whatever the behavior, it takes time outside of a relationship to figure it out and work to act in a more healthy and happy way. If we just jump from one relationship to another we are never forced to be alone with ourselves, our thoughts, our behaviors, and really work on them. 

There are several ways to work through your past.  You can see a therapist and learn more things about yourself and how to cope.  Your therapist would be happy to share more ways that you could explore processing through your past. Another way could be just really getting to know yourself and begin to deal with some past skeletons.  Dealing with skeletons alone is never easy so put yourself up for the challenge. Opt to get some help so you can be fully prepared.

3. Giving yourself “ME” time & Healthy boundaries – 

You shouldn’t ever be at someone’s beck and call. Make time for yourself, your friends, and your hobbies.  Being readily available to someone else is not a healthy choice.  The more you give…..naturally most people would expect more from you. When managing your mental illness it will take a great deal of your time to learn more about triggers, coping skills, perhaps medications, and things that could possibly directly affect you. 

Teach them or have them teach you about their illness and seek to fully understand. If you actually take the time to learn more about your partner it can work wonders in your relationship.  It will allow your partner to understand exactly what you are going through. The more they know about your illness the more they will be able to help identify your triggers. They may also be able to monitor behaviors and moods associated with your mental illness (for example if you are bipolar you would want them to know that one of the symptoms could be mania). 

5. GO SLOW!!!!!!

 Give yourself time to get to know someone, ensure they are trustworthy, and let them in a little. Moving too fast can leave you feeling more vulnerable than you might want.  In most cases people with mental illness can often be taken advantage of and be a target for many things. Make sure you take your time, because any relationship worth having will slowly grow and develop over time.  It will be important to outline your values and make sure that your partners values align with yours as well.  You of course would want to find the right person to date bases on your beliefs and values.

A healthy life is about keeping things in balance. I believe that personal boundaries are at the core of being happy.  

Below are 5 things to consider when treating others properly.

 Step 1: Notice when we reinforce the bad behavior of others.  If someone is doing something that is not healthy.  Be sure to hold them accountable for their actions.  Bad behavior shouldn’t be encouraged and accept the same from your partner. 

Step 2: Recognizing that we have the right to walk away from others- Don’t get upset when someone doesn’t want to talk at the moment. They may figure that this relationship may not be for them.  That’s okay !  People break up all the time and people are entitled to simply move on.  Just think of it has that relationship not being the one for you.  If they offer closure then great! If not then simply move on. 

Step 3: Understanding that we have the right to say NO if something is not in our best interest- Don’t fall for peer pressure.  Let your NO mean NO and your YES mean YES.  Just because you have a mental illness does not mean allow others to walk all over you.  Your strong and you can be assertive.

 Step 4: Recognizing that we have insight on unhealthy relationships and acting upon that knowledge- If you are in a relationship and some things are just not going right. Then speak up…. Don’t assume that others can read your mind.  Be vocal about your feelings, and concerns.  Communication in a relationship is crucial.  So, be sure not to just settle for things if you are not happy.  

Step 5: Sticking with it. Reinforcing our beliefs and acting consistently will help us to achieve our goals of being treated the way we want to be.

Smiling, when I’m not happy? 

I thought this was such an interesting topic, and something I truly hadn’t put that much thought into. I guess I just always thought it was a sort of maladaptive response to stress. But as it turns out, this odd response actually has a name. Inappropriate affect. Now affect itself is the way that we express externally how we are feeling internally. So by definition inappropriate affect is displaying emotion, behavior, and/or demeanor that is not appropriate for the event, situation, or thought that is occurring or being expressed. Meaning we may smile or even laugh when we talk about terrible or traumatizing things. Now there are many reasons we could struggle with inappropriate affect.

When things are not okay be sure to express that they are not okay.  Don’t just settle or smile through the pain.  Have conversations… OFTEN! 

SHOULD I TELL MY PARTNER?

The biggest question I get is should I tell my partner that I have a mental illness!

This is a huge question that I get because there are soooo…………..many misunderstandings surrounding mental illness that people don’t necessary feel comfortable telling anyone especially their partner. You may think you will be able to keep your mental illness a secret.  If you truly suffer from mental illness then the odds of you having a health crisis are pretty high.  The crisis or episode may not last very long but you can almost be certain that it will have some form of impact on how your partner perceives it.  Now to the actual question.  Should i tell my partner…… ?

Well that decision is solely up to you.  I believe that it is important to be honest  with whomever you decide to be in a relationship with. Many people tell their partners right away and others tell them after an episode. However, if you are ready to commit to a long term relationship then it would probably be a wise decision to share sooner than later. If you decide to tell your partner right away, be sure to dispel any beliefs that they may have about mental illness that aren’t true. There are so many misconceptions about mental illness we collectively have to educate those who are unaware. 

Just an FYI I know plenty of people with mental illness who have strong relationships.  Also, know that your partner likes you for a reason. They are already a shoe in and you just need to paint the picture for them. Be honest! You may have your mental illness completely under control or it may be a work in progress. Share with them how you handle your mental illness and most of all share your strengths. Also, include your concerns about sharing this information with them and fears you have surrounding it. You may think sharing your disability/illness will make you vulnerable!  I think it takes one of the strongest people in the world to share. 

Some people will respond that they don’t see you any different for sharing and your mental illness is not a big deal.

Another might say it may be too much to handle and they may want to end the relationship.

Another might say well i don’t know much about mental illness but teach me more about yours. 

There are plenty of responses that you may get 

WHAT IF MY PARTNER HAS A MENTAL ILLNESS AND I’M NOT SURE?

Many people may have a really hard time telling the difference between expected behaviors and what might be truly signs of mental illness unless your are a trained professional. Unfortunately, there is no magical test.  Every single illness has its own set of symptoms. NAMI has listed a few common symptoms that include what I have listed below (but are not limited to).

• Excessive worrying or fear
• Feeling excessively sad or low
• Confused thinking or problems concentrating and learning
• Extreme mood changes, including uncontrollable “highs” or feelings or euphoria
• Prolonged or strong feelings or irritability or anger
• Avoiding friends and social activities
• Difficulties understanding or relating to other people
• Changes in sleeping habits or feeling tired and low energy
• Changes in eating habits such as increased hunger or lack of appetite 
• Changes in sex drive
• Difficulty perceiving reality ( delusions or hallucinations, in which a person experiences and senses things that don’t exist in objective reality)
• Inability to perceive changes in one’s own feelings,behavior or personality ( “lack of insight” or anosognosia)
• Overuse of substances like alcohol or drugs
• Multiple physical ailments without obvious causes ( such as headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “ aches and pains”)
• Thinking about suicide
• Inability to carry out daily activities or handle daily problems and stress 
• An intense fear of weight gain or concern with appearance

* source* https://www.nami.org

If you or someone you may know needs help you can reach out to the NAMI helpline  800-950-6264 .  If you are in a crisis you could also text NAMI to 741741

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(Mini Read Series)

What does your therapist really think of you!?

Many times before you consider seeing a therapist you might begin to feel a little skeptical because you are not sure if you want to go to therapy. You might think if i see this therapist, they are going to think i’m bat S*&% crazy.  

A few other things might come to mind as well like

1. My story will top everything that they could have possibly heard
2. You think you will be judged
3. You think they won’t really like you
4. You think they are thinking your stupid
5. You think they are thinking that this is free money.
6. Why am I even paying a person to tell me my issues in the first place?

 

Trust me this list can go on. I have heard many of the reasons for not wanting to go to receive treatment.

The truth is your therapist is a person, believe it or not….! Lol They have their own list of personal problems, and they are just trying to figure life out just like you.  They won’t always give you the response you want to hear, but with the proper trained therapist you should expect to  have a genuine response. 

The goal of the therapist is not to judge or to categorize someone but to understand that person as an individual so that he or she feels seen and heard. One of the most important tasks as a therapist is to see an individual for who they really are.  You shouldn’t be judged by your past. You should be looked at as the very person that you are while sitting in front of your therapist.  Deciding to receive treatment is a big deal. You’re allowing another person to share your very personal world. 

Your concerns are valid, and so are you.  You deserve to feel better, you deserve to find a clear vision for your path, you deserve to have some peace of mind. So, the next time you have the fear of being judged just know that your therapist is a person as well just like you.   Some people just need a little assistance. Think of it this way… If your groceries are too heavy to carry to the car, and the store clerk asks to assist, would you take the help? I think you would take the help and not worry much about being judged at the moment.  The store clerk isn’t going to say what a weak person, they are just going to help.

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Overthinking is linked to psychological problems, like depression and anxiety. It’s likely that overthinking causes mental health to decline and as your mental health declines, the more likely you are to overthink.

Overthinking, does not necessarily mean that you have a mental health diagnosis. However, it can mean that your process things differently than most people. Overthinking can be linked to anxiety and is something that can be treated with the proper treatment and coping skills. One of my favorite treatments to use for Anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Anxiety is a normal and often healthy emotion. However, when a person regularly feels disproportionate levels of anxiety, it might become a medical disorder. Anxiety disorders form a category of mental health diagnoses that lead to excessive nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worry.

1. Try to identify your triggers! What sets you off the most is it going to work, spending time with certain people, parents, a spouse?
2. Get plenty of sleep- try to start a bed time routine perhaps sleepy time tea or lavender bubble bath.
3. Limit your caffeine and alcohol intake. These two will be sure to help aggravate your overthinking.
4. Try meditation – Not sure how to mediate try guided meditation it tells you exactly what to do. There are tons of Youtube videos. My favorite is the mindfulness movement on Youtube. Start with 5 or 10 mins and gradually increase overtime.
5. Try Tai-Ci or Yoga – both are very relaxing and can be either vigorous or low impact
6. Invite a little humor into your life! Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time.
7. Accept that you don’t have total control of the outcome. Sure we want all things to go our way but that’s just unrealistic.
8. Talk to someone! Talking to a therapist is not such a horrible thing find someone that you can relate to and it can be life changing. If your still not ready to see a therapist then share thoughts with a close friend.
9. Your enough…. Know that! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for the target that is right in front of you. Baby steps… There’s levels to this!
10. Try some deep breathing… I have heard some say that this is kind of corny but trust me it works inhale 8 seconds exhale 5 seconds.

A few facts about anxiety!

• National prevalence data indicate that nearly 40 million people in the United States (18%) experience an anxiety disorder in any given year. 
• Approximately 8% of children and teenagers experience an anxiety disorder with most people developing symptoms before age 21.
• Only about one-third of those suffering from an anxiety disorder receive treatment, even though the disorders are highly treatable.
• In addition, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 in 13 globally suffers from anxiety. The WHO reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorders worldwide with specific phobia, major depressive disorder and social phobia being the most common anxiety disorders.

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