What makes a woman empowered?

As a woman especially those of us that lead a business we have this urge to feel empowered and to position ourselves firmly. 

What makes a woman feel empowered is different for all women.

So in this post, I’ll cover how can you feel empowered as a woman, what does it mean to be empowered, what empowers you as a woman, and more.

Keep reading. 

What does it mean to be empowered?

When I searched on Google what does it mean to be empowered, here is what I found. 

Personal empowerment is about taking control of your own life and making positive decisions based on what you want. It’s closely linked to attributes like self-esteem and self-confidence, but true empowerment comes when you convert intention into action.

But what does that mean for you?  

It’s about setting high standards for yourself, setting boundaries from the begging to position yourself firmly. 

It’s also about building up your self-confidence from the get-go, empowerment should make you feel in control and not self-controlled. 

How does it feel to be empowered?

For some women, this comes easy, as for other women it can be quite hard to build that feeling of empowerment. 

Feeling empowered comes from:

• Making your own decision
• Control your life
• Own your words
• Setting boundaries 
• Becoming authoritative

There is more that can be added to the list but generally this what feels to be empowered. 

Since you now know what does it mean to be empowered? What does it feel like? 

Let’s talk about the 5 types of empowerment.

What are the 5 types of empowerment? And How can a woman feel empowered?

There are general 5 types of empowerment 

1- Local level 

2- Career level 

3- Family level

4- Marriage level

5- Personal level

And let’s discuss each one in a brief description 

1- Local level 

It means the power you have in your social circle. This means do you run events in your community? Do you donate often? 

Do you volunteer around?

All these contribute to your empowerment.

2- Career Level

How do you run your business?  Which place are you at in your career?

Feeling empowered in your career is one of the most challenging things because we tend to critique ourselves and compare ourselves to the competition. 

When you are empowered, competition and others related items in career advancement tend to not be the biggest concern anymore. 

The hardest part is that there are lots of competition but ideally when you are empowered in this field everything becomes easy.

3- Family Level

Being a successful woman means that you have balance in all levels.

And if you learn anything from successful women out there, they often have high empowerment within their family. 

Don’t worry if you don’t have support from your family.

 Family can be very important to some and to others who don’t have family support it can be challenging. Plenty have turned friends and support systems into their self-made version of what they call family.

Be sure to nurture those around you such as your parents, siblings, grandparents, and any other relationships that are important to you. 

4- Marriage Level

Some women feel empowered in their marriage life and some just don’t. But if you want to feel empowered in your marriage life you should always have self-esteem and have firm relationship boundaries. 

If you put these in place you will remain true to self and speak up and not rely on your husband to feel validate. Setting boundaries allows to have independence within your marriage 

5- Personal Level 

If you want to start feeling empowered then start to focus on personal empowerment.

Personal level empowerment comes from self-confidence, self-esteem, and setting a high value for yourself.  

Now that we covered the 5 types of empowerment and how you as a woman can feel empowered, let’s move on to something that will tie this whole thing together.

How to empower yourself as a woman?

Again this comes easy for some women but here are 9 ways to empower yourself when you need that additional motivation 

1- Get coached

If you’re gonna take away something from this post, take this one.

Sometimes women feel like they should do it on their own but the truth is you don’t have to at all.

You can hire a coach to help you with many things, in your career, marriage, personal life, and more. 

2- Don’t be afraid 

Put yourself out there, don’t be afraid to show your true self. As a woman, we get this feeling of shame to express ourselves but if you want to empower yourself you need to express yourself more often. 

3- Learn and educate 

Have you heard that you get to learn twice if you teach? Well, this should be one way to empower yourself. 

Expand your knowledge in one area at a time, teach it to those around you to make yourself feel more authoritative.

Finish your school education or advance training if you haven’t done it already. There are so many ways that you can learn and educate. 

3- Stick to your beliefs 

We are made of what we believe in and if from time to time you change your beliefs it’s gonna be hard to be self-empowered.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t change your belief often but it means to adjust what’s truly valuable to you and what needs to be changed.

If you believe in something that is conservational stick to it, stand up for it. Explain your motive behind that belief.

 But in none aggressive way, you should be firm when you stand up to your beliefs.

This will guarantee you empowerment and the feeling to be empowered. 

4- Become a leader

One way to empower yourself is to become a leader yourself and this doesn’t mean to do anything crazy at the beginning. But it can be as simple as running charity work in your neighborhood.

You can also run a monthly “meeting” in your neighborhood of things that can be changed.

If you think enough outside the box you’ll find so many ways that you can become a leader.

5- Say No  

If you want to feel empowered one way to do that is to say no.

And we all know saying no can be a hassle or the feeling of guilt arises but hey empowered women don’t feel guilty when setting up boundaries.

If you struggle to say no often ask yourself this question what would I love? If I say yes how will this affect me directly? 

This literally can change the game for you without feeling guilty or coming off offensive. 

6- Practice feeling it

I’m not saying here that you should fake it till you make it cause with this type of work because this just doesn’t work. 

What you can do instead is to practice with yourself starting with thinking positive, things like:

I feel empowered through this work

Every time I do XYZ I feel empowered.

I am me I love myself it is a great feeling to be empowered. These positive affirmations will begin to help you change your mindset.

Practice saying that to yourself every day and see how you’ll show up and begin to see changes in your life.

7- Change your mentality 

Change your thoughts about what you believe society has taught you about women, if your society does put women under a pedestal it can be hard for you to position yourself to feel empowered.

This is why it’s important to remove negative thinking and reframe how you think. Society can put so much pressure on women to look a certain way or to think a certain way. Keep your eye on the prize and limit your social media use.

8- Surround yourself 

I believe that the 5 most people you spend your time with is who you are on the inside. 

If you spend your time with women who always seem to dwell on themselves you’ll have a hard time expressing yourself.

It might be hard to walk away from such people, but you can expand your reach and find ways to find women who want to feel empowered as much as you do.  

You can find women alike through blog posts and you can choose to hang out with your nearest empowered woman.

There are tons of ways to meet different who feel just like you. Check out Facebook groups, meet up, local women’s groups, or even niche-specific groups like public speaking groups, etc.

9- Do your part

Just like you want to be treated equally you yourself mustn’t dwell or shame other women. 

And to be honest all of us fall in this trap, where we shame other women. 

But this doesn’t mean you address women who need to be addressed.

It can simply mean to compliment your coworkers about anything that you feel they put enough effort into it. 

If one of your coworkers always tries to save the day you can compliment her about that. 

Pin me if you liked this post 

Final Note

If you decided to take at least a few points from this post, you will be in a much different place than you were before reading. 

Feeling empowered as a woman can be intimidating at first but once you get the hang of it, you’ll thank yourself when you look back. 

Feel free to sign up for our newsletter to share your story and listen to other women’s stories of their journey. 

Related Posts:

• How to Find Yourself as a Woman? – It’s Not What You Think
• Self awareness activities to find yourself as a woman 
• Reasons why you can’t find Happiness

9 Ways to Make You Feel Like Empowered Woman in 2021

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What is the process of self-discovery?

Let’s face it we have all come to a point in our lives when we have asked ourselves “ who am I“ !?

You probably have been wondering what your purpose is and how do you even begin to find your path to self-discovery.

I have heard people say well…. When you wake up in the morning and you find something that you can do daily for “Free” then that is what your purpose is. So, I believed that for a while!

And… don’t get me wrong I’m not implying that it’s wrong or anything but my way of thinking has drastically changed.

But first I want to answer

What does self-discovery mean?

It means the process of finding your abilities and your weakness as well as the path to find your true potential and to find your true happiness.

What is self-discovery improve?

I just believe that finding your purpose…….. in life is something much deeper.

Deeper than just determining what you “like” or even “love” doing. It takes a great deal of self-discovery to find out who you truly are and what you want to make out of this life. The discovery stage can get pretty interesting.

How do I find myself again?

You might be feeling like you have no clue where to begin.

You might feel like you’re not good enough or nothing compared to your fabulous sibling’s life who appears to get everything right.

Your life is not even remotely close to what people post online. Does any of this sound familiar? Let me just digress for a second about social media. Social media can be a great thing and for most people, it kind of is their thing! Nothing wrong with that but think about how much influence it has over you, your thoughts, your appearance, and your attitude.

We most definitely can’t believe everything we see or read and compare it to our lives. You’ve heard the saying a picture is worth a thousand words well it’s true.

Besides we haven’t the slightest clue what any of those people are truly going through.

How can you accept yourself?

Let’s first start off by saying that you are good enough you just might be a little delayed with actually realizing that.

Trust me! It can take time… A Lot of the time the most important thing is that you begin. Beginning self-reflection is something as simple as having a plan of action.

2 Key Ideas to find yourself as a woman

1- Self Reflect 

First, you have to define what happiness means to you.

You would be surprisingly shocked to know that many people have the slightest clue of what happiness is.

Here 2 questions you need to ask yourself to self-discovery:

1- Ask yourself when was the last time you sat down and asked yourself what it would take for you to have complete happiness.

2- What would it take for you to embrace all of your flaws and be ready to tackle the challenges that come your way and still make yourself happy?

How often do you revisit that question?

So many of us rely on others to make us happy and that is mistake number one.

You see happiness is an inside job and we have control over that.

As a younger person, you do not have total control over having complete happiness because you are still required to follow the rules of someone else. However, there is nothing that states you can’t begin the self-discovery journey early.

So, defining what true happiness means to you is key! Not what it means to anyone else but what it means to you.

What does happiness means?

Does happiness mean for you being successful, checking off a list of accomplishments, starting a family, etc… One thing that I do want to highlight is to be very careful of thinking that material items will make you happy.

You want to dig a little deeper and focus on your core of happiness as materials can and will always come and go.

I have many patients who have this long laundry list of things that they believe will make them happy but…..

They are even more unhappy because they feel that they are not deserving of them. Have you ever watched that documentary of several lottery members who are completely unhappy after winning? I mean for many of us it is a dream come true to win the lottery.

(A prime example of why material items should not be the core of your happiness).

Sure money allows you to have access to more, perhaps experience more, and financial freedom doesn’t sound bad at all right.

Anyhow, none of the things that I mentioned have to do with the inside of yourself observation.

2- Soul Searching

Next up on personal discovery is to do a little more self-exploration and define your values.

Many of us have values that may have been instilled unto us by our parents.

Some of us have good parents who appear to have it all figured out and the rest of us have parents who haven’t a clue as to why they even became parents.

You might even wonder if your parents even came from another planet.

– Set Values

My point is some values you may want to adopt as your own and others you might want to explore and create values of your own.

Nothing is wrong with finding your own new path to self-discovery. Parents and family may want what’s best for you in their: own eyes, not yours.

It is important not to let someone else’s personal reflection on your own.

Keep in mind that if you have no clue what yours is then of course you will be more likely to adopt.

Here are more tips to continue the journey of self-discovery

3- Set Goals 

Now that you have put more effort into determining your definition of happiness, and you explored your values, take some time to set some realistic goals for yourself.

Make sure your goals are  S.M.A.R.T goals.

What are S.M.A.R.T Goals?

S.M.A.R.T goals are:

•  Specific
•  Measurable
•  Action/Attainable
• Realistic
•  Time bound.

Your goal needs to be very specific.

Example on S.M.A.R.T Goals:

You wouldn’t want to set a goal and say “ I’m going to write a book” You might instead say I am going to write a book and I will commit to writing 3 pages on Monday and Wednesday.

Then,

Ask yourself can you stick to this plan giving your regularly scheduled daily activity.

When setting goals really think about what is realistic for you and if you will be able to commit to them. Don’t set yourself up by overdoing it.

  Remember one of the most important things you can do is just begin.

Now we have discussed some very simple steps to help you get started on self-finding. Let’s focus on some of the challenges that have stopped you from getting ahead in the past.

How do I discover my true self?

First,

Make a list of the things that have stopped you in the past.

And then ask yourself these questions. 

1- Is there a person in your life who is always full of negativity? 

One of the most danced around topics is negative people. We might want to keep people around due to their history with us but overall it can be a toxic relationship.

2- Has someone in your family told you something that truly made you change your plans?

We all know that we can have toxic family members as well. Remember these are your goals and plans! Sometimes it may be best not to always share your visions because sometimes it is difficult for others to see the picture.

And the last question is:

3- Is your mind cluttered with other “stuff”?

Stuff can consist of tons of irrelevant things that take control of your mental space or your physical space.

Whichever one might be it is taking up valuable space that can cloud your creative judgment. So, Clear your stuff to make room for more things of value.

What’s next?

If you want to hear stories from women like you who share their inspiring stories, then sign up here to our email list to get the latest updates.

Final Note  

The journey to self-discovery for women can be intimidating for lots of women but following what I have given you in this post can help you on your path of self-discovery.

I invite you to follow me on Instagram to help you go on your journey and for more inspiration.

Or, if you feel you want to rant a bit and ask a question, I also have an email address dedicated for a special person just like you reach out to us at lemonadegangletter@gmail.com.

Care to share?

Related posts on how to find yourself:

• Reasons why you can’t find Happiness
• Challenge your negative thoughts
• Stop Overthinking

How to find yourself as a woman?

Lastly, as a woman another thing to take into account is of course none other than Hormones! To learn more about hormones and take a free quiz click here !

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Aromatherapy is one of those simple pleasures that don’t get as much attention as it should.  Now, if you have experienced all the benefits of Aromatherapy before in the past then you are fully aware of all the benefits that it has to offer. 

Aromatherapy is a form of Holistic healing.  It has been around for thousands of years and has a host of benefits. Aromatherapy is used for both medical and religious practices. Aromatherapy also has both physical and psychological benefits. 

Essentials oils can be used in a variety of ways.  Some of my favorite ways are to use them are listed below

Facial Steamer

Diffusers

Face Creams

Warm Baths

Home-made Cleansers

Hot or Cold Compresses

Other Benefits include

• Pain management
• Improvement in overall sleep quality
• Helps to reduce stress, agitation, and anxiety
• soothe joint pain
• Possible relief from headaches and migraines
• alleviate side effects of chemotherapy
• ease discomforts of labor pains
• fight bacteria, virus, or fungus
• improve digestion
• improve hospice and palliative care
• boost immunity

There are well over 100’s of different types of essential oils… So you can experiment a little with which ones you prefer.  Many enjoy mixing some of their favorite oils together by creating the perfect scent. 

I have learned to not be overly creative and stick to the ones that tend not to bother my allergies as I am very sensitive to many different smells. 

All Essential Oils are not created Equal!

Some synthetic oils tend to dissipate relatively quickly and the smell might slightly differ from some essential oils that have a better quality.  You may find cheaper essential oils at places like the dollar stores.  I prefer to get my essential oils at places like Trader Joe’s, Sprouts, or other places that sell organic products.  Do your research on the best quality essential oils.  I also have a pretty good collection of DoTERRA essential oils.  

Popular Essential oils are

Clary Sage

• Antispasmodic
• Relieves Menstrual Cramps
• Aphrodisiac
• Relaxing
• Relieves anxiety/stress
• Labor pain management

Cypress

• Astringent
• Antispasmodic
• Treats Respiratory Complaints
• Edema
• Cellulitis
• Menstrual Pain
• Muscle Pain

Eucalyptus

• Expectorant
• Decongestant
• Beneficial for cold/flu season
• Clearing to the mind
• Energizing
• Bronchitis

Geranium

• PMS
• Indicated or hormonal imbalance
• Antimicrobial
• Nerve Pain

Ginger

• Digestive
• Useful to Eliminate Gas
• Constipation
• Relieves Nausea
• Warming Emotionally and Physically
• Anti-Inflammatory
• Relieves Pain
• Immune Modulator

Lavender 

• Calming
• reduces Anxiety
• Wound Healing
• Burns
• Cell Regenerative
• Insect Bites
• Antispasmodic
• Reduces Itchiness
• General Skin Care
• Great For Children

The above listed are ones that I personally use to help combat fibromyalgia. There are many people who consume essential oils.  However I do not! Be sure to research which oils can be consumed. The only way that I use them is in my diffuser or topical.  I may add them to a carrier oil like avocado oil, or vitamin E when I apply them.  Another thing to note is to make sure that your diffuser is cleaned after each use. The water can grow mold! And that is totally unsafe to inhale.  I personally like to clean mine with tea tree oil.  Tea tree oil is another oil that I use often.  It is a staple item for me and has tons of benefits. 

I suffer from Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is one of those things that does not have a one size fits all remedy and many of the soothing moments with Fibromyalgia are earned with trial and error. 

On a night, when I am having  hard time getting to sleep I have created a fibromyalgia night time routine.  I am just sharing my routine and this is not intended to replace any medical advice.  Please check with your physician before trying out any of the mentions in this post.

I generally average about 5-6 hours per night.  I would love to get 8 or even 9 hours of sleep per night but I have simply settled for a good 5-6 hours. I believed I was getting an adequate amount of sleep until my Fitbit sleep tracker informed me otherwise.  On one single night I had woke 12 times to my surprise. I said that it can’t be healthy.  I said to myself how can my body even recover when I am not getting enough rest. In the morning times I surely would pay the price for the restless nights.

MY NIGHTTIME SLEEP ROUTINE

I began taking magnesium at night 1 tablet

I filled my diffuser with distilled water and add 3 drops of lavender

I also take a bath with lavender epsom salt 

I drink a half of cup of sleepy time tea

I always make my bed up rather i do it in the morning or just before getting in the bed

I purchased a L shaped pillow

A neck pillow

I use a little deep blue on my neck or any other area where there is pain

This is the only thing that works to make sure I get to sleep.  I always share with my friends that I am the real life version of the princess and the pea because I feel every little thing on my bed. I can’t even sleep if there is a  tiny crumb on my bed.  So, it is important to make everything as close to perfect as possible.

In the morning I always stretch.. Not for too long but at least 3 minutes because I tend to get very stiff.  

Disclaimer: I will make a small commission for purchases made through links in this post. For more information please see our disclosures page.

REFERENCES:

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-aromatherapy#benefits

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How mental health was perceived in the past?

We often underestimate how deeply our world is affected by Mental illness.

 Mental illness has been around since the beginning of time. Ages ago many would say that if someone was mentally ill that they were “mad” or even “ possessed by spirits”. 

Back in the day around the 1930’s many were treated with Electroconvulsive therapy.  You may know Electroconvulsive therapy as “shock therapy”.

 Before that, in the mid-1800s the mentally ill would essentially be sedated or restrained in overcrowded asylums. 

The majority of the schools of thought also came from back in the early 1800s & 1900s. 

Mental Health History 

Now I promise not to turn this blog post into a history lesson but the back story on psychology as a whole is a very interesting one.

(Please pinky swear you will go and read some information about the etiology of mental health and psychology) 

There are probably a few things that you may have a misconception about when it comes to mental health.

 It’s my goal to dispel some of the beliefs and share how much mental health has grown over the years. 

 We are beginning to speak about mental health now like it is a priority. It should have always been a priority but we can’t do much to change the past right.

 It is a priority of mine and I will explain exactly why you should make it a priority of yours too whether you suffer from mental illness or not.

What You Should Know About Mental Health?

Have you ever found yourself calling another person crazy, because they may have done something that wasn’t what you considered normal? 

 You know stuff like walking down the street with no clothes on or fighting the air? 

 We have all seen it right? Maybe in real life or perhaps on television. 

What Kind of Movies That Talk About Mental Health?

 Many movies like Sybil, Girl Interrupted, Beautiful mind, etc… display characters who suffer from mental illness.

 You may have watched the movies for mere entertainment……or you could have finished the movies with a plethora of questions that went unanswered. 

The first time you may have experienced some form of someone with mental illness, you may have been fairly young.  

Young enough to know that something was different but also young enough not to understand what that could have meant. 

 Sometimes parents could have it explained as “ don’t mind her/him she’s just special!  Well, we are special right!

 I mean what does “special” even mean?  I’m going to venture to guess that whatever information you did receive about mental illness it was probably not a very detailed one. 

What do you need to do?

So, whatever your belief was about mental health back then you more than likely have some of those same beliefs now in 2020. 

 Now don’t beat yourself up we all have been misinformed on many things. Being misinformed doesn’t make us bad people.

 The fact that you are reading this allows me to know that you want to clear up any misconceptions and you’re ready to share what you learn with others right?

Let’s Dive in a little and come to an understanding of what mental illness really is.

What is mental illness? (Glad you asked)

Now that we’ve pretty much accepted that the definition you have about mental health is not the best one let’s clear it up. 

Mental Health Definition 

Mental Illness is a wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking, and behaviors.  so you may be thinking to yourself so that sounds a lot like what happens when you use drugs. 

 Well, you right! drugs can also affect your mood, thinking, and behaviors.

 Generally, people who have substance use disorders along with mental health disorders are diagnosed as having a co-occurring.  

You may also here is sometimes called a dual or substance disorder which includes alcohol or drug abuse.  

Where did mental illness Even come from?

This is probably the most asked question related to mental illness.

  There are different beliefs about why people have a mental illness.

  There have been multiple studies on changes in the brain, changes in chemical imbalances and you can read a few of the studies that I follow actively here. 

As well as well-respected researchers around the world who have dedicated the majority of their lives to finding a breakthrough on mental illness.

 Others may argue that it was passed down by a family member.

You can learn the diagnosis who are believed to have genetic components here. 

 Mental Health Matters because mental illness can be a part of your family for generations to come.

What affects mental health?

Below I will share a list of studies that have been shown to have genetic components. Scientists have recognized that the following psychiatric disorders tend to run in families according to the National Institutes of Health. (www.nih.gov)

 You can also search many other articles to learn more about these.

Major Depressive Disorder 

Autism

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity (ADHD)

Bi-Polar Disorder

Schizophrenia

One thing you can do to help narrow down if your family has ties to mental illness is to have your therapist do a genogram for you. 

The genogram is like a family tree although much more detailed. A genogram is a pictorial display of a person’s family relationships and medical history.

 It goes beyond a traditional family tree by allowing the user to visualize hereditary patterns and psychological factors that punctuate relationships.

Is there a cure for Mental Illness?

There is no magic pill or anything proven that will allow your mental illness to magically disappear. 

So, unfortunately, there is no cure! However, you can learn more about the latest research on topics related to a cure from a simple search. There are plenty of treatment options to choose from. 

 There are also holistic methods of treatments as well as medications that work extremely well especially with certain diagnoses. 

Medication along with psychotherapy work amazingly well together. 

 Mental Health Matters!

Now a question often comes up and that is

People can’t have a “normal life” with mental illness?

You can have a normal life if you have a mental illness. 

 Whatever your definition of normal you can still have that with a mental illness. Read my blog post on how to combat mental illness. 

 You will be faced with challenges if you have a mental illness. News flash……… we all will be faced with challenges.

 You may have to work a little harder, a little longer to make sure that you have what you need to cope. 

Read more >> How to combat mental illness >>

What if my culture does not believe in treating mental illness? 

There are tons of cultures that are not so fond of mental health services.  

Not saying that you should go against your beliefs, values, or culture but mental health is a personal journey. 

 Although mental health can affect the entire family it truly is taking a step in your progress as an individual.

Have a conversation 

 Having a conversation about what you believe is right for you is very important when taking your journey. 

 You have full control of who you allow in your circle of support.

See a therapist. 

Overall deciding to see a therapist is your personal choice.

  >> Read my blog post on how to find a new therapist here.>>

Why does mental health Matter?

Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being.

 It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. 

Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. 

Mental health matters because we matter.  Our lives matter, our well-being, and our choices matter.

What can I do to be a part of the change?

 We have the right to be seen and heard in the light instead of suffering in the dark.  Those who suffer from mental health deserve to be able to walk outside and not be called crazy.

  Those who suffer from mental health deserve to go ask for help without being called crazy. 

Those who suffer from mental health should not be discriminated against because they have a diagnosis. 

 Mental health matters because our mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers, and our friends matter. Make sharing your knowledge about mental health a priority. Cause your voice matters.

 The more you know the more you share. 

Your mental health is important to be sure to make it a priority!

Pin me!

Final Note

Mental health should be prioritized and should be taught more often.

If you feel you’re struggling with mental health, then please consult a professional.

Related article about mental health:

• How to find a new therapist
• How to combat mental health
• What to do when you have mental health

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We asked and you answered! We are in the process building a list of these amazing topics that you all selected during our Instagram Survey.  We here at Ladies and Lemons are passionate about delivering quality content and we want you to stick around and get updated when they become available. This by far is not click bait and we are extremely excited to collaborate with others to make the best quality content. Sign up so that you can join us and not miss a thing. Stick around and check the many other topics posted!

UPCOMING ARTICLES

Growth Mindset

Self-Esteem Tips

Reasons to stay Active

Staying Motivated with Mental Illness

Balance and Mental Illness

Stopping Mental Health Fog

Mental Health Matters updated 11/1/2020 view post here

Eating A Balanced Meal and Eating Healthy with mental health

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So, your thinking about possibly dating! Or you may or know someone who is suffering from mental illness!  Have you begun to think rather or not you should engage in a relationship?  Perhaps you may think your not even deserving of a relationship.

 Heck you may even say that my mental illness is too much and I couldn’t possibly be in a relationship. 

Well…. the truth is, you can! YOU….. can be in a perfectly healthy relationship with someone!

Of course, just like any good relationship, it will require patience, understanding, communication, and dedication. 

I have outlined a few things that I feel are important when debating if a relationship is right for you.

1. Take care of yourself first! That’s why people always use the phrase “you can’t love someone else if you don’t first love yourself” because while we can care for others, and love them, if we don’t put ourselves first, that love and care isn’t coming from a healthy or secure place. You may find it very difficult to still remain attentive in the relationship if you find yourself needing more for yourself.  When you feel overwhelmed or needy be sure to have a conversation with your partner about your needs as well. 

Mental Illness is one of those things that others can not always see. Some symptoms may not always be apparent, and your spouse will often assume that everything is okay.  Have conversations with your spouse frequently when you are feeling great and even when you are not so great.  Doing so will help prevent unnecessary arguments.  All relationships will have its challenges but if you can keep the peace  by  being sensitive to the needs of others ….why not try! 

2. Process through your past! 

We can inadvertently use this relationship to try and work through our own struggles instead of taking the time to figure out what’s upsetting us.  We could also use it as a scapegoat and avoid our own problems. Let me say it again…. process through YOUR past, and try to act in a more healthy way. It’s normal to have bad habits in relationships – we all were raised, and adopted some bad habits overtime. This could be not talking openly about how we feel (most of us can relate to that), or we could have come from a home with addiction, so we struggle with enabling/codependent behavior, or we could have come from a home where we yelled and fought about everything whether we were even really upset. Whatever the behavior, it takes time outside of a relationship to figure it out and work to act in a more healthy and happy way. If we just jump from one relationship to another we are never forced to be alone with ourselves, our thoughts, our behaviors, and really work on them. 

There are several ways to work through your past.  You can see a therapist and learn more things about yourself and how to cope.  Your therapist would be happy to share more ways that you could explore processing through your past. Another way could be just really getting to know yourself and begin to deal with some past skeletons.  Dealing with skeletons alone is never easy so put yourself up for the challenge. Opt to get some help so you can be fully prepared.

3. Giving yourself “ME” time & Healthy boundaries – 

You shouldn’t ever be at someone’s beck and call. Make time for yourself, your friends, and your hobbies.  Being readily available to someone else is not a healthy choice.  The more you give…..naturally most people would expect more from you. When managing your mental illness it will take a great deal of your time to learn more about triggers, coping skills, perhaps medications, and things that could possibly directly affect you. 

Teach them or have them teach you about their illness and seek to fully understand. If you actually take the time to learn more about your partner it can work wonders in your relationship.  It will allow your partner to understand exactly what you are going through. The more they know about your illness the more they will be able to help identify your triggers. They may also be able to monitor behaviors and moods associated with your mental illness (for example if you are bipolar you would want them to know that one of the symptoms could be mania). 

5. GO SLOW!!!!!!

 Give yourself time to get to know someone, ensure they are trustworthy, and let them in a little. Moving too fast can leave you feeling more vulnerable than you might want.  In most cases people with mental illness can often be taken advantage of and be a target for many things. Make sure you take your time, because any relationship worth having will slowly grow and develop over time.  It will be important to outline your values and make sure that your partners values align with yours as well.  You of course would want to find the right person to date bases on your beliefs and values.

A healthy life is about keeping things in balance. I believe that personal boundaries are at the core of being happy.  

Below are 5 things to consider when treating others properly.

 Step 1: Notice when we reinforce the bad behavior of others.  If someone is doing something that is not healthy.  Be sure to hold them accountable for their actions.  Bad behavior shouldn’t be encouraged and accept the same from your partner. 

Step 2: Recognizing that we have the right to walk away from others- Don’t get upset when someone doesn’t want to talk at the moment. They may figure that this relationship may not be for them.  That’s okay !  People break up all the time and people are entitled to simply move on.  Just think of it has that relationship not being the one for you.  If they offer closure then great! If not then simply move on. 

Step 3: Understanding that we have the right to say NO if something is not in our best interest- Don’t fall for peer pressure.  Let your NO mean NO and your YES mean YES.  Just because you have a mental illness does not mean allow others to walk all over you.  Your strong and you can be assertive.

 Step 4: Recognizing that we have insight on unhealthy relationships and acting upon that knowledge- If you are in a relationship and some things are just not going right. Then speak up…. Don’t assume that others can read your mind.  Be vocal about your feelings, and concerns.  Communication in a relationship is crucial.  So, be sure not to just settle for things if you are not happy.  

Step 5: Sticking with it. Reinforcing our beliefs and acting consistently will help us to achieve our goals of being treated the way we want to be.

Smiling, when I’m not happy? 

I thought this was such an interesting topic, and something I truly hadn’t put that much thought into. I guess I just always thought it was a sort of maladaptive response to stress. But as it turns out, this odd response actually has a name. Inappropriate affect. Now affect itself is the way that we express externally how we are feeling internally. So by definition inappropriate affect is displaying emotion, behavior, and/or demeanor that is not appropriate for the event, situation, or thought that is occurring or being expressed. Meaning we may smile or even laugh when we talk about terrible or traumatizing things. Now there are many reasons we could struggle with inappropriate affect.

When things are not okay be sure to express that they are not okay.  Don’t just settle or smile through the pain.  Have conversations… OFTEN! 

SHOULD I TELL MY PARTNER?

The biggest question I get is should I tell my partner that I have a mental illness!

This is a huge question that I get because there are soooo…………..many misunderstandings surrounding mental illness that people don’t necessary feel comfortable telling anyone especially their partner. You may think you will be able to keep your mental illness a secret.  If you truly suffer from mental illness then the odds of you having a health crisis are pretty high.  The crisis or episode may not last very long but you can almost be certain that it will have some form of impact on how your partner perceives it.  Now to the actual question.  Should i tell my partner…… ?

Well that decision is solely up to you.  I believe that it is important to be honest  with whomever you decide to be in a relationship with. Many people tell their partners right away and others tell them after an episode. However, if you are ready to commit to a long term relationship then it would probably be a wise decision to share sooner than later. If you decide to tell your partner right away, be sure to dispel any beliefs that they may have about mental illness that aren’t true. There are so many misconceptions about mental illness we collectively have to educate those who are unaware. 

Just an FYI I know plenty of people with mental illness who have strong relationships.  Also, know that your partner likes you for a reason. They are already a shoe in and you just need to paint the picture for them. Be honest! You may have your mental illness completely under control or it may be a work in progress. Share with them how you handle your mental illness and most of all share your strengths. Also, include your concerns about sharing this information with them and fears you have surrounding it. You may think sharing your disability/illness will make you vulnerable!  I think it takes one of the strongest people in the world to share. 

Some people will respond that they don’t see you any different for sharing and your mental illness is not a big deal.

Another might say it may be too much to handle and they may want to end the relationship.

Another might say well i don’t know much about mental illness but teach me more about yours. 

There are plenty of responses that you may get 

WHAT IF MY PARTNER HAS A MENTAL ILLNESS AND I’M NOT SURE?

Many people may have a really hard time telling the difference between expected behaviors and what might be truly signs of mental illness unless your are a trained professional. Unfortunately, there is no magical test.  Every single illness has its own set of symptoms. NAMI has listed a few common symptoms that include what I have listed below (but are not limited to).

• Excessive worrying or fear
• Feeling excessively sad or low
• Confused thinking or problems concentrating and learning
• Extreme mood changes, including uncontrollable “highs” or feelings or euphoria
• Prolonged or strong feelings or irritability or anger
• Avoiding friends and social activities
• Difficulties understanding or relating to other people
• Changes in sleeping habits or feeling tired and low energy
• Changes in eating habits such as increased hunger or lack of appetite 
• Changes in sex drive
• Difficulty perceiving reality ( delusions or hallucinations, in which a person experiences and senses things that don’t exist in objective reality)
• Inability to perceive changes in one’s own feelings,behavior or personality ( “lack of insight” or anosognosia)
• Overuse of substances like alcohol or drugs
• Multiple physical ailments without obvious causes ( such as headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “ aches and pains”)
• Thinking about suicide
• Inability to carry out daily activities or handle daily problems and stress 
• An intense fear of weight gain or concern with appearance

* source* https://www.nami.org

If you or someone you may know needs help you can reach out to the NAMI helpline  800-950-6264 .  If you are in a crisis you could also text NAMI to 741741

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Key areas of self-awareness 

We’ve discussed how to find yourself as a woman in this post. 

But for today it’s gonna be all about self-awareness activities that you can do that will help you gain more awareness of who you are.

Let’s get started.

Before we start with the activities, there are some questions that I’ll need to address first.

What are the key areas of self-awareness?

There are 3 areas for self-awareness

• Values
• Personality traits 
• Habits and emotion

Here is a brief description of what each one means:

Values:

Are what drives our actions. If before you make any big decision in your life you ask your family for their opinion then this action is driven by the value of family bonding. 

Personality traits:

Personality traits are what sets you apart from any other woman.

Think of it as the activities you do daily that are a part of your personality trait. 

Habits and emotions:

As humans, that’s what we are made of habits and emotions. If everything you do leads to the desired emotion (Negative or positive) and those emotions lead to the habits we do daily. 

Once you’re aware of these self-awareness keys, it’ll be your compass to live a happy life. 

What are the three self-awareness activities that develop the self?

3 self-awareness activities can help you to develop yourself.

• Physical
• Mental 
• Emotional

Physical

Which is to do about anything physical to help you gain self-awareness.

Things such as journaling and meditation or doing yoga are a starter.

Mental

Mental self-awareness is to be aware of your thoughts and the mental chatter that goes around in your head.

This is essential to know as everything starts from there. 

You can check this podcast from Natalie Bacon on mental chatter. 

Emotional

Being aware of your emotions is a big part of developing yourself and if you fail to develop your emotion, it doesn’t matter what else you do. 

Mastering emotion can be practicing your feelings ahead of time for those big events that seem to overwhelm you. 

From what you read so far self-awareness compounds many things but they’re crucial to self-development. 

What are some examples of self-awareness?

A friend of mine sent me this list that I love. I think it would be creative of you to make your list just like this one.

You can easily just take out a sheet of paper and write down the most important things to you in life.

 Think about how you are affected by those things, and what they mean to you. There are no right or wrong answers. 

This is a great tool to begin and explore self-awareness.

Seriously…… Just give it a try!

Read more >> How to find yourself as a woman

Self-awareness examples

1. To be rich ………………………Give
2. To Succeed………………………Serve
3. To laugh……………………Make someone else laugh
4. To prosper…………………….. Be honest
5. To Excel………………………… Be faithful
6. To go far……………………….Get up early
7. To change someone……………Change yourself
8. To be great………………………………Be disciplined
9. To be strong………………………………Pray Often
10. To do a lot………………………………….Speak little
11. To be fruitful………………………………Praise God
12. To live well……………………………….Forgive
13. To talk well……………………………….Bind anger
14. To sleep well…………………………….Work Hard
15. To be loved………………………………..Love
16. To be a good husband……………………..Listen to your wife
17. To be a wife………………………………..Submit yourself
18. To be respected…………………………..Be polite
19. To bind Satan……………………………Sanctify yourself
20. To grow in faith………………………….Meditate on the word of God Always

The list can go on and on.

It’s so powerful to make yourself aware of the simple things in life.

One more thing to remember that we all have so many different things that are important to us as individuals.

 They don’t need to make sense to anyone else. To be honest, sometimes it might not make sense to you.

 The point is to gain self-awareness therefore, you can make progress. The progress will allow you to understand who you are and your purpose in life. 

This is also great for self-development.

Trust me you have a purpose..! It might take some time to unlock what that may be but you have one.

 Just think when was the last time you have actually sat in your own thoughts and answered the questions you asked yourself.

Now that you’re aware of self-awareness examples, here is how to exercise self-awareness?

Pin me 

How do you exercise self-awareness?

As I wrote earlier there are 2 ways that you can exercise self-awareness.

First, physically, which is to write your thoughts in a journal.

This process is called a brain dump.

Another exercise you can do is to sit in silence and watch your thoughts come up and go. 

Either way, you should include physical and mental exercises in your self-awareness routine and make it a part of your daily life.

Final Note

Self-awareness can be the greatest tool anyone could have but not everyone is aware of it.

When you’re aware of your thoughts you have the power to change the way you live, but with cautious self-awareness, this only can happen. 

Related posts you’ll love:

• How to Find Yourself as a Woman?
• Crush your Goals
• Share your story (Newsletter)

Self-awareness activities to find yourself as a woman

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If you decide to follow me you will quickly learn that I like to get right into the point.  I write many of my posts pretty direct. If I were reading it I would want the writer to get straight to the point in most cases. Sometimes I like to read a backstory and sometimes I just want the INFO..  This one has a little backstory but you will want to hear it. 

So, I always stated that I wanted to learn more and more blogging.  I looked at all the younger kids making money on Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms and thought to myself I can do that stuff.  I am just not much of a camera person.  I really couldn’t see myself making videos, although I plan to make a few videos in the future.  I kept seeing others make money from all these different types of stay at home jobs and I said to myself why not me! I wish I could do that.  So, I really began to look more into what I could possibly blog about.  Was I even really good enough at anything to be able to share it in confidence?   I also don’t have a huge support system so I wasn’t sure who was even going to support me in this new journey.  Then I had to think about who has really ever supported me in anything that I have ever done.  No pity party needed, I have come to complete terms with basically having a limited support system.  I mean I have always had great friends but many of them aren’t as motivated as I am.  I have an entrepreneurial mindset and I want to excel in everything I do.  Once this post gets over 10k I will be sure to revisit this post and share exactly what I mean by this.

The first thing I did was get a website.  I went over to Godaddy, and  at the time they had a promo that I only paid  $ 60 bucks for a domain that I wouldn’t have to renew for at least 4 years or so.   I went ahead and got hosting with Godaddy  as well.  It was fairly cheap but once you begin to renew with them then the price does increase quite a bit.  I let my domain www.ladiesandlemons.com  sit for about 1 year and did absolutely nothing with it. I’m pretty computer savvy but I wouldn’t necessarily call myself tech savvy.  To my advantage I can follow instructions well, and I’m a pretty fast learner.  So I was up for the challenge.  I really had to get myself motivated to start blogging.  I had all these ideas …. I mean tons of ideas but I also had all of these what if … ? types of thoughts . Like, is blogging even a real thing? What if nobody reads my stuff? Am I even a good enough writer? BLAH BLAH BLAH… I had to say to myself… Wait!  I am the clinician here.  Everything that I said to myself I tell my patients to reword/ reframe how they think and what they say. I needed to practice what I preached.  I mean seriously, it doesn’t matter how much education or skills you have in life we are human first.  We all have emotions and an array of other feelings that arise when we are faced with challenges. 

Quarantine Blues

During Quarantine I decided to buy myself a laptop, and I wasn’t working at the time so I had plenty of time to write out all those topics in my head.  I got to writing. I have always been a self-motivator so once I got started I was pretty much out to reach my goal.  Keep in mind I’m the type of person who has to have a bunch of stuff going on in order to feel accomplished. (I’ll share what I mean in my post that hits over 10k)… I was studying for my licensure exams for both real estate, and my 2^nd license to practice therapy. I didn’t have much time to take on a new task but I was never the one who didn’t complete things that I started. So, it was necessary that I get to it. 

 Below I will share exactly what I did to make money.  So, I know $1oo a month doesn’t seem like a lot of money. There are some bloggers who make well over 10k even 50k per month.  I’ve seen many grow off of blogging so I know it is possible.  I will share exactly what I did to make money my very  1^st full month of blogging.

Your Domain

1. I got a website from Godaddy. ( I would have switched  to a different provider by now.)  I wanted to get a better amount of space, I didn’t want to share hosting with anyone, better rate, and I wanted a free SSL certificate. Many others offer sites like Site ground, Host gator, and Blue host are all reasonably priced. Many have shared that self-hosting is the way to go. If you are able to self-host in the beginning it may be wise because it allows you to obtain many more sponsorship’s without restrictions in the future. 

Wordtracker and Keyword Search

2. I went over to Worktracker and found a few of the topics that I like to write about.  I was able to really determine if the topics that I had an interest in were even worth writing about.  Let’s face it we all like to think we are creative but sometimes the world might not think so.  If there is not a demand for what you want to write about then the chance of others actually reading it would be slim to none.  So from wordtracker, I was able to narrow down what my topics would be about. I also searched Bing, yahoo, google, and Pinterest to get more a more detailed description. For example, if i put in “mental health” wordtracker might suggest “understanding mental health for kids”

Pinterest

3.  Pinterest …..Pinterest….. Pinterest …I just love it.  I went to Pinterest and switched my personal account to a business account and started creating boards. I really did not know much about Pinterest so I invested in a Pinterest course that helped me out significantly.  The Pinterest course that I took was called Pinterest with Elle. I completed the course which shared things like how to create pins and how to design them.   What to pin, when to pin, and basically everything else you need to know about Pinterest.  It was only $37.00! Now that I had the content,  I needed pictures to match.  I needed to create click worthy pins since Pinterest is more of a visual search engine.   Pinterest has recently made quite a few changes.  One of the most common changes is related to pinning. Pinterest no longer favors pinning other people’s pins.  They would much rather you create your own new fresh pins.  You have to be consistent with pinning and try out different variations of the same pin. It might also be wise to utilize a pin scheduler.  I use tailwind.  I do like tailwind as it helps me to create content and not worry about pinning all the time. I currently only pin about 10-15 pins a day and repin about 6. Some say at least 25 pins per day is ideal. I don’t have a massive following but I managed to get over  60k views in a matter of 2 weeks which is a pretty good start.  You may see your monthly views going haywire.  They may periodically increase or decrease.  If you see some drastic changes you could always reach out to Pinterest to ask them if your account has been flagged as spam or been reported as posting low quality content.

Canva

4. I went to Canva.com  and started using the free version to create a variety of pins.  I noticed that I started to see a lot of the same pictures on Pinterest. It is apparent that many people use Pinterest also use Canva. Which means you have to do whatever you can to make your post stand out from the rest.  I started to look for other free stock photo images which I found extremely helpful.  A few are Pixaby, Haute stock, unsplash, pexels, getty images, istockphoto, Shutter images, there are tons you can pay for on Etsy as well.   Obviously, the paid ones are far less used on Pinterest because most prefer to use the free stock photos.  So, if you have a budget for using the paid ones then go for it.  I got really creative and started to take my own photos whenever I found something that looked seemingly interesting.  I would go somewhere, it could be something as a picture below like this one taken at Crystal Cove near and one near Laguna Nigel in California.  Canva by far is one of the easiest tools to learn. Once you master it you can create anything.  I  watched a few YouTube videos and felt very confident after learning how to use it.  Of course I tested out a few pins here and there.  I paid close attention to what worked, what board I posted it on, and also what time of day I posted it. 

Website Aesthetics

5. I then decided that I really needed to invest in the Aesthetics of my website.  My website was just okay… it had tons of colors and lemons which were on theme for my brand.  I thought it was really cute.  I have to admit that it was a bit busy.  So, again I scaled back on what exactly I wanted and thought more about what my potential readers would want.  Instead of having one of the many WordPress free themes, I decided to pay for a theme on WordPress.  I use the Blossom brand and if you decide to purchase a free one you will learn that they are more user -friendly and allow you to customize many more areas than the free versions.  The Blossom brand has many free cute, elegant, and classy themes.  Ask others for feedback on your website.  You want to know how it looks, is it easy to navigate and read.  I only changed mine because I was trying to get some work done on Fiverr ( I’ll get to Fiverr in a little bit) and someone gave me unwarranted feedback.  The person who I was working with on Fiverr said “why don’t you let me create a professional looking website for you”  This if of course after he had already seen mine. I said to myself…. And then to him excuse me my website looks professional! Who does he think he is!  He was right, what I thought was pretty close to perfection wasn’t.  I had to be honest with myself.  If I wasn’t honest with myself how would I expect readers to trust me. 

Fiverr and Upwork

I started to find myself losing time.  I would come home from my part time job and not really have time to do anything else but work on the blog.  I mean I am truly passionate about the blog but I really wasn’t finding balance. I am the type of person who likes to give 100% attention to everything that I do.  So, I was spreading myself a little thin.  So after I wrote my eBooks, I decided to have other things to sell on my website as well. I knew this would take a little more time than I really had so I decided to get some of my work outsourced.  I went over to Fiverr, and had someone format and create my e-books.  I also had someone design a few t-shirts !  I forgot to mention earlier that someone on Fiverr also designed my logo.  You can create everything I mentioned in Canva.  If you have the time to create, go for it, if not then don’t hesitate to have someone who specializes in what you’re looking for do it, and be done in a few hours. Fiverr is also reasonably priced.  I just needed a little help because I wanted to focus on creating more content and not so much on other things.  Once I created the items not only did I put them for sale on my website I put them on Redbubble, and Printful.  Redbubble and Printful both allow you to create products and sell them on their site.   This way you don’t have to worry about shipping or keeping anything in stock.  You simply upload the files and they take care of the rest.  Once the sale starts rolling in more you can find other sources that allow you to make a 100% of your profits. If your main focal point is aren’t merchandise sales then these two options are great for beginners.  

Social Media Outlets

7. Okay so now my website is ready to go, I have the content, I have pictures, I have everything that I think I need!  SO how do I actually make money?  First thing I actually did after that was go Instagram, Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, and Youtube. I changed all my accounts to business accounts or I created a new account with my brand.  Now I have to admit I’m rarely active on any platform besides Pinterest.  I do have plans for my other accounts but I have to say that I have had the best results and the majority of my traffic from Pinterest.  

Affiliate Marketing

8. I started to research different affiliate programs and ways to make money from blogging. I do have a part time job so I make a good income.  I really never thought of blogging as a career for me.  I just wanted to create 4 streams of income for myself.  I never thought of actually quitting my career and blogging full time, or for that matter doing any of the 4 streams full time.  I just wanted to have leisure work but they all had to be things that I love doing.  So, if I really never made much money from blogging that would have been okay because I would’ve still enjoyed doing it.  Not only that, I have real estate, baking, and my job as a therapist to rely on.  I went on to search for ways to actually monetize my blog.  I will list the ones that I actually use below or will be using soon. 

Google Adsense

Media.net

ClickBank

Cj Affiliates

Share a sale

MediaVine – Mediavine recently changed their policy and you need to have at least 50k sessions to even get approved.

Amazon affiliates 

ShopStyleCollective

Pop Ads 

Other helpful links

Linktree

Gravatar

Fiverr

Upwork

Acemedia

Redbubble

Printful

Mail chimp

Mailer lite 

Teachable

SEO is another area that needs to be set up correctly. One of my favorite people to watch on Youtube Is Neil Patel. You will want to have a very good understanding of what Search Engine Optimization means and how to do it to maximize traffic to your website.

A little motivation…….

A few things to remember, you are good at something!  If you have a hidden talent, find it!  It’s in there. Trust me on this.  As a person who has tried many different things and them not working out, I was beginning to feel complacent. Don’t let anyone tell you that you will never make money blogging.  It’s not too late to start that YouTube channel or that blog or anything else you want to create in life. It’s not too late.  However, it will be too late when you lay back and think of all the things that you didn’t accomplish and regret not taking that leap of faith. I have a pretty difficult niche.  My background is in mental health.  Let’s be honest it’s not as popular as fashion, or food.  I have MENTAL HEALTH as a niche….. !there are tons of stigmas attached to it and people just don’t like talking about it. It can be uncomfortable to talk about.  However, many people don’t mind reading about it.  It is important for me to not strictly talk about mental health but to include other daily life problems as well.  I needed to talk about life challenges, relationships, lifestyle, growth, personal development, and other things like that.  I think that any niche can be successful if you dedicate the right amount of knowledge to it.  It is important for your readers to gain your trust.  This means you have to be consistent and provide quality content.  I am not in this for the money.  I truly want to share things that I have learned over time with others who may be interested.  None of the links on this page are sponsored, which I could easily do.  Life is about sharing the knowledge and paying it forward.  I am still not a pro and I still have many things to learn. I did not spend over  $100 on the things that I mentioned.  The money that I did spend was well worth every cent.  You may have to invest a little in yourself.  There are tons of people.. HONEST people who share their experience and are great teachers.   Although, the things that I have shared did cost some money they didn’t cost much.  They have all been worth the investment.   Trust me,  if you have some computer knowledge you can figure it all out by yourself.  It will just take some time, dedication, and persistence. I was adamant about not spending a bunch of money on something that I knew the odds would be 50/50. Think of  going out to buy expensive equipment for Youtube videos before you have subscribers.  Spend money on the things you actually need. The phone quality for videos right now is simply amazing and it will suffice until you need to upgrade… if you know what I mean. 

I will continue to update this area as I find new things along my journey and at some point I will be extremely excited to share my earnings and things that have changed over the next few months.  Like I said I’m average when it comes to the tech world but it is learnable.  Don’t feel like you can’t do it. Flyers still work! I go to many community events, I still give out business cards that I designed in Canva and printed on zazzle.com.  Zazzle also has a great affiliate program.  Make sure you utilize all your resources. You Niche is profitable although it may be a little slower growing than most.

Moral of this story is I used everything I mentioned above to create ebooks, e-courses, t-shirts, joined affiliate programs, networked in my community, share my vision to sponsors, watched Youtube videos, believed in myself, remained consistent, invested a little money, and now I am sharing what I learned.  If I only gain a little bit of knowledge I will be sure to update this post.  COVID-19 has taught me a lot and the very 1^st take away from it is that life is truly too short not to act on your dreams. I am projecting to see my 1st 1,000 month in July so finger crossed.

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Nothing is more embarrassing than boob sweat and the smell can be a little embarrassing as well. I just want to dive into the products I use personally and how you can stay fresh and clean this summer.  It’s going to be a hot one.  You may or may not be in a state that you are required to wear a mask but if you are at least you can be confident in the scorching heat this summer and stay dry.

Under boob sweat list

Fresh Breast ………. Fresh breast is like a liquid product that dries into a powder.  It smells like baby powder.  The only thing with this one is that it does not dry clear.  It is supposed to dry into a silky-clump free powder. You can also apply it as often as you like. It dries smooth but not clear.  It wouldn’t be ideal for the beach. BUT it works trust me on this one. 

Lady Anti Monkey Butt …… I know a funny name right ? This little gem absorbs sweat and minimizes friction.  It has calamine and cornstarch in it. It also happens to be talc-free.  The smell reminds you of skin so soft by Avon.  This is okay for sensitive skin also.

Carpe Breast is another one that I like and you can also use it in other areas that have folds.  This one does not have much of a scent but it reminds you of an ointment of some type.  This product worked fine for me but before purchasing I read that someone said it burned. It worked just fine for me so do your research.

Lume Deodorant is one for underarms and other private areas.  It is a natural deodorant that can pretty much be used everywhere… armpits, butt cracks, underboobs, you name it.  It doesn’t have any aluminum, baking soda, and is paraben free.

For chafing you can try out….

Body glide for Her… this is an anti chafe balm that works wonders, and the packaging is pretty cute. 

Monistat of course also has a chafing relief powder

Chub rub is by far one of my favorite and probably the less in-expensive

You can also try triple antibiotic ointment in your folds if you happen to accidentally scratch yourself in any area that you may have broken the skin.

For femine vaginal hygiene I try to stay away from fragrances if possible.

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Let’s talk about how you can actually tell if you should see a therapist. Now for starters …. Don’t get the idea in your head that the first therapist you see will be a match made in heaven.   Unfortunately, finding the right  therapist and treatment isn’t always easy peasy.  It can be a task itself, especially if you are at a low point at the time of searching. You might  google “psychotherapy” ( psychotherapy  simply means “talk therapy”  not that your a serial killer) and you might instantly become confused at the fact you see a ton of Acronyms like CBT or Cognitive behavioral therapy, or DBT Dialectical Behavioral therapy, and maybe ACT amongst a million others.  The first thing  is to not get overwhelmed. Once you start searching for a therapist you will learn more about the various schools of thoughts and treatment modalities.   Now you’re thinking well I don’t even know what’s wrong with me why am I even looking for a therapist!   This is all the more reason why you want to take your time and scope out the right one for you.  If you don’t do enough research then a few things may happen. You may go in for a session, start telling all and answering questions that you have not answered in years, then find yourself not really liking the therapist at all. You might even try going to quite a few other therapists and repeating the same steps.  Then BOOM! your belief of the therapeutic process is tarnished.  We don’t want that to happen.  I feel that the therapeutic relationship is something powerful and life changing.  A few things to consider when searching for a therapist. 

The Worldview

Many people want to see a therapist that looks like them.  Meaning they want someone of the same race because they believe that they may be able to relate to many things.  I am not saying that having a therapist from a different background wouldn’t understand you… but it really is all about compatibility and rapport building. It is about finding someone that you can connect with. This can be true in most instances.  Yet, do keep in mind that if someone has a history of drug abuse, and the therapist you selected did not experience drug abuse does not mean that they can’t help you.   Keep an opinion in mind, and although race shouldn’t be the biggest factor I know that sometimes it  can have an impact in the decision making process of the person you select.

Culture- 

Culture is the characteristics and knowledge of a particular group of people, encompassing language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music and arts.  Why should culture play a role in your decision making process? Because you may find someone who connects with you at a deeper level than just agreeing  on a worldview.  Do you desire a therapist who has a religious based beliefs, Are they a part of the LGBT community, do they have interest in Art therapy?  There are plenty of therapists who self-disclose in aids of finding their ideal clients.  Also, not that many therapists do not self-disclose, and all should be qualified to assist you either way.

Specialty types of the therapist– 

We mentioned earlier about the different acronyms so let’s dig a little deeper. Many therapists have a modality preference that they specialize in.  This means that if you choose a particular therapist they may be treating you with that modality.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very common in the therapy world. CBT is a short-term therapy technique that can help people find new ways to behave by changing their thought patterns.  Dialectical behavioral therapy ( DBT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy) DBT is often used to treat suicidal and other self-destructive behaviors.  Another therapist may specialize in anger, abuse, or trauma.  There are tons of specialities out there.  If a therapist specializes in one it does not mean they are only limited to use that modality.  It just means that their preference is the said modality and they tend to use what they feel will give the best results, and their comfort level of that modality.  Some therapists, like myself, prefer to use several different types.  

Discipline of therapist-

So, there are several different types of therapist. You can see a Psychiatrist which generally only prescribes medication. Although they may do assessments they do not do therapy. You can also see a Psychologist. A psychologist in most states cannot prescribe medication but is authorized to do therapy. 

 You can see a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist  which are a mental health professional trained in psychotherapy and family systems, and licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples and family systems. I also have many colleagues who are MFT who specializes and a wide range from drug addictions to working with children.  So, they are not limited to just working with the family.

 You can also see a Licensed Professional Counselor. Licensed professional counselors are master’s degree mental health service providers, trained to work with individuals, families, and groups in treating mental, behavioral, and emotional problems and disorders. You may find that many LPC work in the school system or with military families but are not limited to. You can see Licensed Clinical Social Worker or LCSW, LCSW is a sub-sector within the field of Social Work. LCSW works with clients in order to help deal with issues involving mental and emotional health.  You may find many LCSWs at hospitals and clinics however they often have private practices where they provide therapy.  All disciplines vary from state to state but must all have a masters degree or above in order to practice. Last but not least you can see a Life Coach.  There is no current governing body that requires a life coach to have a certain level of education or license.  Life coaches do not provide therapy and are not allowed to treat.  However, they can serve as a support system for you and serve as a guide. 

Price and insurance coverage- Many employers have EAP services (Employee Assistance Programs) that will cover up to a certain amount of therapy sessions. Call your employer to see if you have this coverage. You can also see how many sessions are covered in your actual plans. In most cases patients may need to get an extension for their services.  Thi is why it is so important to maximize your sessions by sharing and participating because if your employer only authorizes 12 sessions you may be upset because you can see yourself benefiting and feel that you did not have enough time.  You could always pay out of pocket.  Just in case something like this happens be sure to find out the rate the therapist charges prior to the onset of therapy to see if you will be able to afford it.

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